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Friday, February 20, 2009

The 25 Worst/Least Likely Names For the Newsom Baby

Posted By on Fri, Feb 20, 2009 at 12:01 AM

click to enlarge The French delegation humbly suggests "Marcel" for a boy or "Germaine" for a girl
  • The French delegation humbly suggests "Marcel" for a boy or "Germaine" for a girl

What the hell is going on there at City Hall? Sean Elsbernd, Ross Mirkarimi, Michela Alioto-Pier's staff, random statues -- everyone is cranking a kid these days. Can we tie this in to the Sean Penn scenes filmed on location for Milk? In addition to prancing up the stairs, what else did he do?

In yet another instance of tabloid journalism calling the tune for all the rest of us, mainstream folks followed a gossip blog yesterday in reporting that San Francisco's first couple is expecting. We'd congratulate Gavin and Jennifer with a cigar -- but, thanks to city legislation, I can no longer buy them at my corner Walgreen's.

In any event, we'll have to congratulate the Newsoms with this list of names we're thinking they'll avoid -- or should:

25. Barack Hussein
24. Zamfir
23. Alex or Ruby
22. Parker
21. Bilbo
20. Napoleon

19. Prince
18. Kazaam
17. Kimberly
16. Pork Chop
15. Medea
14. Gay
13. Gatsby
12. Moon Unit
11. Ishtar
10. Umlungu Loxdonta
 9. Chris Daly
 8. Mohammed
 7. Muhammed
 6. Sitting Bull
 5. Tojo
 4. Anna Nicole
 3. B.J.
 2. Gouverner
 1. Jesus

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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