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Monday, January 12, 2009

Swag from Unabomber's Pending Auction: 'One Razor, Never Used...'

Posted By on Mon, Jan 12, 2009 at 8:59 AM

The Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals recently ruled that, despite Theodore "The Unabomber" Kaczynski's legal objections, the serial bomber's possessions can be auctioned off on the Internet (oh, irony). The proceedings will be applied to a $15 million restitution order to his maimed and murdered victims and their families.

And Ted can use all the monetary help he can get: U.S. District Judge Garland Burrell, Jr. mandated that five guns taken from Kaczynski's Montana shack be sold to the families of his victims for $300, which was deducted from his restitution. Only $14,999,700 to go.

Most newspaper articles gave short shrift to the one question likely puzzling every reader: What the hell was in Kaczynski's Barbie Dream House-sized hovel that could fetch any money? Well, there's his 40,000-page handwritten manuscript (Ted had an editor, but he "blew him off") and the aforementioned guns, but to find out more you had to read a spectacularly detailed legal article by law professor Anita Ramasastry:

Among the personal items to be auctioned are tools, among them files,

saws, hatchets, knives, axes and scissors; clothing; three typewriters;

Kaczynski's University of Michigan diploma (housed in a suitcase); two

checkbooks; and a library of titles ranging including from "Finnish

Grammar" to "Zapata and the Mexican Revolution." Among the clothing up

for auction are the Unabomber's hooded jackets, which he may have worn

when posting his mail bombs.

That's right! You can be the proud owner of the Unabomber's signature hoody!


  • One copy of How To Make Friends and Influence People, slightly charred;
  • Three freezers full of Hungry Man dinners, which are still edible;
  • Reams of Kaczynski's angry correspondences with PG&E, culminating in a form letter from the company querying, "So, what are you going to do about it, eh?"
  • Videotapes of Ted's failed act on The Gong Show -- Dr. K and his Luddite dummy Karl. They were gonged within 45 seconds by Rip Taylor;
  • Riunite -- Everything goes with Riunite;
  • Lingerie, and plenty of it (you think a man who mails explosives to people doesn't have issues)?
  • A latte machine and mounds of decaf grinds (the murderer of three doesn't like caffeine -- he says it makes him an asshole).

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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