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Monday, November 17, 2008

SFPD Catches "Water Department Scammers"

Posted By on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 2:08 PM

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The San Francisco Police have arrested three suspects who have been posing as Water Department Personal to gain access to private homes. Once inside the home, one of the suspects would distract the resident while another searched the home for valuables.

The three men are suspected of carrying out 15 such robberies over the past two months, mostly targeting Chinese households.

A woman who just seen a warning about he scammers on Chinese Television, called police from her 17th Avenue home Friday to report that three suspicious men knocked on her door and claimed to be Water Department employees who needed to get inside her house.

Police conducted a search of the area and found the suspects at Geary and 23rd Avenue. The three men, Ricky Guy, Frank John, and Michael Ulrich, are all from Los Angeles. --John Geluardi

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Attack of the Anonymous Tomato Tossers

Posted By on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 1:09 PM

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By Ashley Harrell

Sunday at 2 p.m., a phalanx of young scalawags armed with fresh, juicy produce descended on Warm Water Cove in Potrero Hill for San Francisco's first ever organized tomato fight. Why they had come to this particular spot at this particular time, nobody wanted to say.

"The Internet told me to," one guy offered, cryptically.

Apparently, a secret society's yahoo group was involved, and also an email of mysterious origin announcing the details of SF's first ever Tomatina (also the name of massive yearly tomato fight in Spain). The fight would last just 15 minutes, and there were three rules. Eye protection was necessary, cameramen were off-limits, and tomatoes must be squished in the hand before launch.

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"Now some of you might think this is a waste of perfectly good tomatoes. No," the email went on to explain. "A waste of tomatoes would be giving them to a vegan cook so they can make sauce for their overcooked, gluten-free, expeller-pressed fettuccine. Either way the tomato is wasted, but at least you get SOME joy from the end result."

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SF Government InAction: We blame everybody. EVERYBODY!

Posted By on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 11:07 AM

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By Benjamin Wachs

San Francisco has managed to come out of the most hopeful election in US memory more divided than ever. It’s not because Prop 8 passed – everybody loses at some point in a Democracy. It’s because our search for someone to blame has now got us hating each other even more than we did two weeks ago. Instead of using this loss to reflect on ways we can build better, stronger, more vibrant movement and establish new connections, our very first reaction … right out of the gate … was to start condemning each other. It’s like we rehearsed it. It’s a good thing we like diversity in principle, because in practice we can’t stand one another. This is why I tell people that the reason San Francisco is tops in hate crime isn’t just a reporting error on the part of Alabama – deep down in every San Francisco activists’ heart is a dream of civil war. I’ve been late coming to this party, and need to make up for lost time: so this week I am pleased to announce that absolutely everything the Supes do will be someone’s fault. SF Government InAction will tell you who to blame. And if you don’t like it … well, obviously you’re an agent of the Zionist agenda. That’s how they roll. Monday, Nov. 17 10 a.m. – Government Audit & Oversight Committee MUNI’s coming up twice at this meeting – with Aaron Peskin holding hearings on a MUNI quality review, and proposing a measure that would transfer the duties of the Taxi Commission to the MTA. Why won’t black churches just leave us alone? It’s like they think that just because they have the right to vote, they can vote however they want.

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Has Gavin Gone Rogue?

Posted By on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 10:45 AM

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This campaign poster, obtained by SF Weekly, suggests Gavin Newsom is stealing from Sarah Palin's handler-stuffing playbook as he runs for governor of California. We missed the old hearty partying Newsom, welcome the change, and encourage readers to print and hang the new poster. --Matt Smith

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Obama Supports 'Separate But Equal' Principle For Gays

Posted By on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 8:31 AM

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Oh, the irony of it all: When it comes to his views on same-sex marriage, the first black man elected president in the U.S. uses the same principle employed in the past by whites to justify segregation in this country.

Barack Obama opposes gay marriage, but he supports civil unions. Separate but equal.

I know what many of you are thinking now: Obama couldn't support gay marriage during the campaign because if he did he'd never get elected. That could very well be the case. I'm just pointing out an obvious irony I don't hear people acknowledging: The greatest success story of the black civil rights movement, Barack Obama, is on the side of political expediency when it comes to the biggest civil rights issue of our time. -- Will Harper

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The Face That Launched A Thousand Quips: Tom Ammiano Bids Adieu to His Constituency

Posted By on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 6:00 AM

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Finally, a reason to visit Sacramento

By Joe Eskenazi

After 14 years of racking up some of the world's best off-color, gay-themed double-entendres - and, incidentally, governing San Francisco - Supervisor Tom Ammiano tossed a few last one-liners to his adoring public before opting to leave civilization as we know it (e.g. moving to Sacramento).

On Friday night Ammiano celebrated his next occupation - likely the sole state Assembly Member with a turquoise stud earring. A jovial crowd at The Center on Market Street was pre-lubricated by Two-Buck Chuck and ready to laugh. Ammiano - who won not quite 84 percent of the vote for lucky District 13 - did not disappoint. In his Hanna-Barbera character-like voice -- that, in a perfect world, would be narrating our GPS machines - he quickly made 'em laugh with a quip about his diminutive campaign manager, Esther Marks, giving a PG&E lobbyist a knee to the jewels ("How 'bout that for public power?").

He described the joys of learning the intricacies of state politics as "S and M" and seemed less than enthused with Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's sense of décor: "There's this replica of a Medieval tent with a green carpet that's the same texture as the one you find in an Easter basket. This is the governor's 'Smoking Tent.' So, I'm gay and I'm the one who's weird?"

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