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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Stuffing the Ballot Box: Polling Place Missed Connections

Posted By on Wed, Nov 5, 2008 at 10:36 AM

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If you were out at the bars watching the election results roll in last night, you probably noticed that states weren't the only thing swinging. Opportunistic Lotharios were doing their best to strike while the mood was high and "I Voted" stickers were like targets. But the sexual tension started building much earlier in the day at local polling places, as evidenced by Missed Connection posts on Craigslist.

"Sorry i didn't offer you the voting booth that opened up after a few minutes of us awkwardly sharing some kind of coffee table?," writes one shy voter who goes on to say, "thought of trying to be funny by saying, "so, you here for McCain too?" or "don't cheat off my ballot" but felt embarrassed and thought maybe not the place to even attempt to be cute."

When in doubt, m4w, 36 -- go with your gut.

A poster in SOMA is more to the point...

You wore a red sweater and a grey skirt. I saw you from a block away and wanted to rip your clothes off even before you asked me if I knew where a polling place was.Write me, and let's do this.

This post begins like softcore for Democrats:

It was a great way to start the day: blue skies, voting for Barack Obama, and meeting you.

Swoon!

And this man was actually aroused by a voting booth:

I commented on your voting "box" - m4w - 26 (mission district)

You are cute, exceptional for that matter. You were at a mutual friends Halloween party wearing a fuzzy white hate and you had a voting booth slung on your back. You asked me if I wanted to vote. I said, "No thanks. Guys have been in and out of your box all night." You didn't really think that was funny so I walked away and stole glances while more people ran through your box. When I drink I revert to the humor I learned in the 4th grade. I'm pretty sure you think I'm an a$$hole. Coffee?

In case you're wondering when it's too early to make a joke about a girl's hypothetical promiscuity, it's right after you meet her.

And finally:

Seeking the man who blows glass dildos. - w4m - 28 (Regency Hotel)

2nd place runner up for Miss New Jersey 1986 looking for the man who made me laugh. If you remember me and would like to see what I really look like, go buy some marigolds and meet me at Ritual, in the mission for a coffee, a walk and to go vote. You may very welll be the man of my dreams.

My only confusion about this post concerns the manner in which the author intends the verb "blows" to be interpreted.

--Andy Wright

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Andy Wright

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