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Friday, May 23, 2008

Our Prostitutes and Johns are Better than Your Prostitutes and Johns? Are we Bragging about that Now?

Posted By on Fri, May 23, 2008 at 11:47 AM


By Benjamin Wachs

I know…I know…that San Francisco will take any excuse to explain to America why it’s so much better than the rest of America. People come to jump off OUR BRIDGE; when your kids run away to be street urchins, they come here! Take that, Cedar Falls!

But this week Chron sex columnist Violet Blue came up with one I haven’t heard before: our “local sex work market and how oversaturated it is with hip, smart and diverse escorts.”

And our johns? Oh man! “The men of San Francisco make delightful clients. They tend to be politically liberal, with at least a rudimentary social/ecological consciousness." Also, according to her interview with “established escort and professional dominatrix" Giselle Reid:

"They have good and expansive taste in cuisine. They are less obsessed with orgasm than men who, in other parts of the world, cussed at themselves or me if they came too quickly or not at all. Often they are with me to have a good time, not to prove themselves. They are eager to have their asses played with. They are less likely to smoke. They are generally more informed and supportive of sex workers' rights issues and more willing to talk openly and objectively about sex work. They know and use the term "sex work." They are less likely to be homophobic and more open with their sexual curiosity about other men. They are more likely to bring their girlfriend, wife or other favorite sex worker with them. They are less likely to speak ill of their wives. Some of them call or write me on holidays and my birthday. And of course, they, like everyone in this great city, are generally better looking.”

Wow! We are so awesome! When people in San Francisco pay for sex, it’s an act of hip eco-consciousness between two beautiful people who are taking a stand for labor rights and against homophobia!

Be the change you want to make, prostitutes and johns of San Francisco: Be the change!

Along the same line of reasoning, here are some other great things about San Francisco that haven’t been shoved in Middle America’s face as much as they could be:

• Our intravenous drug users have REALLY great taste in intravenous drugs.

• The urine smell on San Francisco streets comes from some very progressive people.

• Our street gangs are extremely diverse. So are their victims.

• When they’re not attacking people, the vicious animals in our parks eat organically.

• 9 out of 10 new businesses in San Francisco fail, just like everywhere else. But WE do it on purpose!

• A dollar doesn’t buy nearly as much in San Francisco, which is some kind of statement on America’s foreign policy. Definitely.

• People come here from all over the world to complain about the accommodations.

• Our incompetent politicians are amazingly telegenic.

God we are so cool. And sexy. Just full of it – in a hip way.

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Benjamin Wachs


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