Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Ten Better Lies for Online Cheating Than 'I Was Attacked!'

Posted By on Wed, Feb 27, 2008 at 9:10 AM

ufo_thumb.jpg
A San Mateo woman, Karyn Galila, was sentenced to 90 days in jail yesterday after she filed a false police report claiming five men had raped her at gunpoint . An article in the Chronicle today says she fabricated the story to explain to her husband why she had arrived home late from a meeting with a man she had recently met online. You know what sucks? When, every once in awhile, a woman lies about rape and then jackass misogynists cling to that one story with the very edges of their fingernails, dusting it off and trotting it out every time a rape case makes the headlines. Just so we can avoid this in the future, I have compiled a handy list of the 'Top 10 Lies for Online Cheating Better than 'I Was Attacked!'

1. Look over there! (Run away.) (click 'more')

2.UFO's abducted me! (Old favorite. Research: Fire in the Sky.)

3.I was taking a Free Stress Test.

4.I was busy buying drugs.

5.I went momentarily blind and couldn't drive.

6.I had to sober up before getting behind the wheel.

7.I hit someone on the way home and had to heave the body over the safety railing by myself. (Could be used in conjunction with number six.)

8.I was watching re-runs of Full House on YouTube and lost track of time. (True story.)

9.There was a long line at the clap clinic.

10.I'm not late, you're late.

-Andy Wright

  • Pin It

Tags: , , ,

About The Author

Andy Wright

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook

Slideshows

  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"