By John Geluardi
Mayor Gavin Newsom threw a big party last night at the Ferry Building and acted like there had been an election or something. He packed a stage with family, friends and his hot girlfriend then someone blasted the campaign victory standby “Living in America” as he triumphantly took the stage.
He even made a mock victory speech commending his assorted challengers for running against him and calling for “reconciliation,” as if there had a hard-fought campaign and a nip and tuck ballot count.
But you could tell it wasn’t a real victory party because the hors d’oeuvres sucked. There were only these little pastry-like things that were all empty calories. Kinda’ like Newsom’s vague promises to improve the environment, healthcare, homelessness and schools. There was plenty of beer and wine, which was some comfort.
After the speech, someone blasted “Start Me Up,” by the Rolling Stones and Newsom took a flesh-pressing victory lap around the room followed closely by at least three well-armed and intimidating bodyguards just in case anyone forgot how important he was. Then Newsom spent a lot of time with television reporters who apparently also thought there had been an election or something.
The event was so like a real victory party, some celebrants remembered the old days when the city had functioning Democratic elections. It was a fond and sentimental memory that helped warm them as they headed home in the chilly November night.
