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Monday, October 15, 2007

Peace Out: The S.F. Weekly's Top-10 Suggestions of More Noble Nobels Than Our Pal Al

Posted By on Mon, Oct 15, 2007 at 8:00 AM

click to enlarge nobel_medal_dsc06171.jpg

By Benjamin Wachs and Joe Eskenazi

We're as excited for Al Gore as the next guy, so when we heard he'd been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, we had the same reaction you probably did: Was the movie really THAT good?

Peace Prize? Seriously?

There has got to be a better way to stick it to George W. Bush. We'll keep thinking. In the mean time, here are 10 people more deserving of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize than Al Gore:

1) The Disasters Emergency Committee of the UK: This collection of British charities is spearheading relief efforts in Darfur.

2) Mario Vargas Llosa: His voice had been one of the few consistently opposing totalitarianism – right and left – in South America.

3) Irena Sendler,97, a Polish woman who helped to save 2,500 Jews during World War II — and refused to spill the beans even after being repeatedly tortured by the Nazis.

4) Martti Ahtisaari: The former president of Finland, who helped oversee the disarming of IRA factions in Northern Ireland, negotiated a peace treaty in Indonesia in 2005 and is currently crafting Kosovo's future status.

5) Monks in Myanmar: They've been shot, burned, tossed into the river and banished. Now, it seems, they're channeling their karmic powers into a mental fist: Hardline dictator General Soe Win just dropped dead at 59. Nobel voters, beware.

6) Beverly Johnson: The yard counselor at James Lick Middle School, she pried seventh-graders Jimmy Brill and Morris Chan apart prior to their coming to blows.

7) Dilbert: For brokering the "Conference Room C" accords between Wally and the pointy-haired boss.

8) A joint award: General Mills, for laying down his whole grain missiles and learning to live with the Keebler Elves, who pledged to cease their campaigns of eco-terror and blanketing the world with their marginally delicious chocolate likenesses.

9) Judge Scott Gordon: For creating a free and fair divorce hearing between Britney and KFed.

10) The state of Nevada: For finally getting O.J. off the streets.

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About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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