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Monday, September 24, 2007

Civil Grand Jury Reports SF City Government 'Sucks Big Time' (Paraphrased)

Posted By on Mon, Sep 24, 2007 at 9:27 AM

Every Monday, the SF Weekly News blog 'The Snitch' reports on what the SF City Government will be up to in a feature we call: SFGovernmentInAction.

This Week!: Mobius strips of bureaucracy say what we all know; giving the police hell; and Ed Jew fights for what he really believes in - Parking. Plus -- does San Francisco have a secret government cartel that wants to annex Oakland? Probably not, but, if they did it would be called: LAFco.

Monday, September 24

Government Audit and Oversight Committee, 10 a.m..:

Want to find out how accurate three members of the Board of Supervisors think a report about city government is? Then this is your party.

Recently a state mandated city committee … called a “civil grand jury” … investigated how a bunch of different city agencies are doing. Now the city is getting around to responding to those reports, which came out in July. Because apparently it needs to have a special committee respond to them, instead of just reading them like the rest of us pretend to do. (Pretend to read one of them here), if that’s your bag).

Today they’ll be looking at reports on: the Entertainment Commission (sucks); the Department of Emergency Management (sucks); the Department of Public Health (sucks); and our disaster preparedness plan (sucks).

They’ll also … I kid you not … be responding to a government report about another government report about the government. It’s called “the continuity report” and it reports how well the government has responded so far to all the reports.

Either we’re living in a Kafka novel, or this is really happening.

Public Safety Committee, 10 a.m..

Boo-yah! If you have to pick just one government committee to attend … and who can pick just one? … this is your magic ticket right here, baby. Public Safety. Chairman Ross Mirkarimi runs the FUCK out of this committee, old school. Someday I’m going to find a way to sneak popcorn in past city hall’s crack security squad, and then this committee will be perfect.

The big news this week is a hearing to get public input on SFPD foot patrols. Like ‘em? Don’t like ‘em? Think they oughta be patrolling somewhere else? (you know you do…). This is your chance to show up and give ‘em hell.

I’ll bet anyone an illegal substance of your choice that somebody at this hearing says something about the police department stupid enough to warrant front page treatment. And if it's not a a high ranking department member of the PD that says it, I’ll throw in an erotic service of the winner’s choice.

Tuesday, September 25:

Full Board of Supervisors, 2 p.m.:

Supervisor Ed Jew is in trouble. He’s in court over election fraud, he’s been charged by the FBI with Mail Fraud, and Mayor Newsom has finally decided to seek his removal from office because … apparently … a federal corruption charge is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

And yet, in the midst of all this, what is Jew doing? He’s finding the time to propose the establishment of a “No Parking Anytime” zone on the south side of Lincoln Way extending about 40 feet from 45th avenue.

I guess some people really care about parking.

You’ve got to wonder: are there still constituents calling his office … even now … asking for help with their zoning issues?

That’s what I’ll be wondering about during the BOS meeting Tuesday.

Other items of note this week include:

-- A measure by Chris Daly supporting the effort of union rent-a-cops to get a living wage;

--The long-discussed measure to change the penalty for failing to pay for a MUNI ticket from a criminal offense to an administrative fine;

--The much-hyped proposal to ban the Blue Angels air show over San Francisco;

-- A measure by Board President Aaron Peskin naming October 10 “Daniel Pearl World Music Day.” Far be it from me to mock the memory of a fellow journalist, so I’m just going to assume Peskin knows something I don’t about the deceased Wall Street Journal reporter being a big World Music fan;

-- A measure by Michela Alioto-Pier naming October 25 “SF Climate Challege Day.” Because if there’s one thing San Franciscans don’t think enough about, it’s environmentalism.

--A hearing on the property at 445 Wawona Street

--A hearing on the property at 317 Cortland Avenue

Wednesday, September 26:

Budget and Finance Committee, 1 p.m.:

Sometimes it’s the small things that count in life, like the imposition of a $100 penalty for removing the traffic chalk marks on city streets. And sometimes it’s the big things that count, like the establishment of a $185 million bond to acquire and improve park space in San Francisco.

This week, the Budget and Finance Committee will talk about both. Because they care.

Thursday, September 27:

City & School District committee, 3:30 p.m.

In August the City and School District committee had a just crackerjack meeting in which the Superintendent of Schools vowed to create a de facto truancy jail, and the Supes promised to remove legal roadblocks to the police acting as truancy officers.

This week they’ll get back together to see if anybody actually did anything. I’ll be taking bets on this one, too.

Friday, September 28:

LAFco, 2 p.m.

Okay, I admit it: I didn’t know what LAFco was, either. I had to look it up.

Apparently it’s the “Local Agency Formation Commission,” and is responsible for:

“ reviewing and approving proposed jurisdictional boundary changes, including annexations and detachments of territory to and/or from cities and special districts, incorporations of new cities, formations of new special districts, and consolidations, mergers and dissolutions of existing districts. In addition, LAFCo must review and approve contractual service agreements, determine spheres of influence for each city and district, and may initiate proposals involving district consolidation, dissolution, establishment of subsidiary districts, mergers, and reorganizations (combinations of these jurisdictional changes).”

No shit?

Unfortunately LAFco … which you kind of expect to be chaired by Jerry Seinfeld … hasn’t posted its meeting yet, or even listed the meeting on their website … so we don’t know what they’re doing.

Could they be changing a boundary? Creating a special district? Annexing Oakland?

There’s no way to tell!

I’ll get back to you on this one. Unless … LAFco gets me first …

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David Downs


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