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Monday, July 9, 2007

Boxing Bootcamp Day 16 -- Welcome to Hell

Posted By on Mon, Jul 9, 2007 at 10:19 AM

Wasn't that fun!

You probably know, but that's the video for "Everlong" -- a track from Foo Fighters' 1997 album, The Colour and the Shape. Though I didn't like the song when it came out, it's become deeply ingrained into my psyche, and I've had it stuck in my head for about a week. I'm beginning to fear that it will forever be a part of me. Everywhere I go, I'm forced beyond my will to sing

And IIIIII wonderrrrrrrr

When I sing along with youuuuuu

If everything could ever feel this real foreverrrrrrrr

If anything could ever be this good aaaaagain

The only thing I'll ever ask of youuuuuu

You've got to promise not to stop when I sa-hayyyy when

over and over again, and it's taking over my life. I feel like the Foo Fighters should be investigated for crimes against humanity (and, specifically, me) for... implanting the Everlong chip into my head or whatever. May God damn you, Dave Grohl. May He/She/Whatever damn you straight to Hell.

Anyway. Why am I telling you this? First, because I want you to suffer. There's an old cliche that goes: "Tears in the writer equal tears in the reader." Stupid, but generally true. And, well, for the purposes of today's decidedly short boxing column (I'm running low on time and patience), we'll make a categorical stretch and say: "Insanity, frustration and aural pain in the writer equals insanity, frustration and aural pain in the reader." So welcome to my world, folks. Welcome to Hell. Welcome to Tartarus. And so on. Second, though I didn't have time to measure the exact distance of our morning run today, I'd have to say it was probably close to 4 billion miles -- past the stadium, through all the All Star Game ridiculousness, past the Caltrain station, around town for a bit, up and around Potrero Hill, around some more town, and then back to 3rd and 21st. Now, that's certainly not something we do every day at bootcamp, but today, in the words of Paul Wade, we were "setting the bar for the rest of the week." And I had "Everlong" stuck in my head every step of the way. It was almost more than I could handle. Emotionally, not physically. The run was quite pleasant, actually. But Dave Grohl's voice in my brain was not.

So: Should Foo Fighters be destroyed? In the words of my Magic 8-Ball, "Signs point to yes."

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Boxing Bootcamp is a bit of fun orchestrated by 3rd Street Gym, SF Weekly's Matt Stroud, and Rob Quintiliani from the SF Bay Guardian; the fun involves Rob and Matt training for 6 weeks before pummeling each other publicly for everyone's amusement. Questions? Write to Matt Stroud.

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Matt Stroud

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