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Monday, September 17, 2012

Jello Shots, Cut-Off T-Shirts, and Rushing the Stage: What Happens When 89 Cougars Go To a Def Leppard Concert in Concord

Posted By on Mon, Sep 17, 2012 at 9:54 AM

89 Def Cougars assembled and ready for Friday's show.
  • 89 Def Cougars assembled and ready for Friday's show.


Full disclosure. Growing up in the '80s, I was not a big Def Leppard fan and never even considered going to one of their concerts.

But two-and-a-half decades later came the irresistible bait: the ticket plus a pre-party at a gorgeous Alameda home with alcohol and catered food and 88 other moms like me, chartered buses for the ride to the show and back, and a T-shirt emblazoned with "Def Cougar" across the chest, all for a mere fifty-five bucks.

I was in, big fan or not.

Last September's word-of-mouth event attracted 47 East Bay moms; this year's event, 89 -- plus a waiting list. "Clearly the band still has it," co-organizer Karin Fox, an Alameda real estate agent, told me. This was Fox's fifth Def Leppard concert.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

An Open Letter to Chris Brown and His Abhorrent Neck Tattoo

Posted By on Wed, Sep 12, 2012 at 8:40 AM

Chris Brown at the VMAs
  • Chris Brown at the VMAs

Dear Chris Brown,

About that new neck tattoo of yours that's causing such universal disdain: who the hell do you think you're fooling exactly? When the world notices that your new ink is clearly based on images of Rihanna's face after you beat the crap out of her three years ago, and you deny it, it is about as convincing as when you two imbeciles try to act like you're no longer hooking up. Stop insulting our intelligence and just own the fuck up to being the giant psycho that you are.

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Friday, April 20, 2012

The Tupac Hologram Is Terrifying and Distasteful. Let's Stop This Madness Now.

Posted By on Fri, Apr 20, 2012 at 4:30 AM


On Sunday, April 15, 2012, the world officially entered science fiction-land. Sure, iPods are pretty futuristic, GPS is spy magic from space, and we all have stupidly intelligent phones now, but nothing has felt quite as much like living in a Buck Rogers episode than when Tupac got resurrected in hologram form at Coachella.
By now, you've all seen it. And it's pretty shocking on a number of

levels. The first time you see that thing in action, your brain starts

spewing questions: How are they doing this? Should they be doing this?

Is this a joke? Was Tupac's waist really that tiny? Is he really still alive, like that crazy bitch from

the bar keeps insisting? But, after the shock of the spectacle is over

and Dr Dre has announced that he wants to tour with this thing (we guess you don't spend half a million dollars creating something, only to use it once), the only

thing we should all be feeling is horror.

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Friday, February 17, 2012

Dave Mustaine Confirms Idiocy Twice in One Week

Posted By on Fri, Feb 17, 2012 at 3:30 AM


As you may have already heard, a couple of days ago, Megadeth's Dave Mustaine told that he was "hoping that whatever is in the White House next year is a Republican" (he knows politicians aren't robots right? Surely that should be a "whoever," not a "whatever"?) and gave his own rather bizarre opinions of all of this year's G.O.P. presidential candidates.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

The FBI Classifies Juggalos as a Gang (of Idiots?)

Posted By on Fri, Nov 4, 2011 at 5:00 AM


Well, it's official. According to the FBI's National Gang Threat Assessment for 2011, Juggalos -- those loud-mouthed, clown-faced, Insane Clown Posse-loving idiots -- are a real live gang. They're listed as a "Non-Traditional" gang on the Contents page, but they're a gang nonetheless. And if you read this thing, the FBI is clearly genuinely concerned about the crimes this moronic team of face-painters are committing around the country. And here we were thinking they were just simpletons with a love of terrible, terrible music and playing dress-up!

According to the report, Arizona, California, Utah, and Pennsylvania already recognize Juggalos as a gang. The report also states that "Transient, criminal Juggalo groups pose a threat to communities due to the potential for violence, drug use/sales, and their general destructive and violent nature." In addition: "Open source reporting suggests that a small number of Juggalos are forming organized subsets and engaging in gang-like criminal activity, such as felony assaults, thefts, robberies, and drug sales."

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Performance Artist Ann Magnuson Will Perform as David Bowie Tomorrow Night

Posted By on Wed, Oct 26, 2011 at 5:27 PM

Ann Magnuson
  • Ann Magnuson

Blame it on Halloween, we s'pose, but this is quite a week for artists performing as other artists here in S.F. Obvs there's that iPort-wet-dream of a garage/punk show Friday at Brick and Mortar, but here's another, possibly way stranger happening: Tomorrow night at SFMOMA, the performance artist Ann Magnuson -- best known as an NYC club girl, member of '80s weirdo rock band Bongwater, and purveyor of strange characters -- is doing an exploration of "the rock star as witch doctor, myth maker, and ritual sacrifice." This will involve some sort of live show where she'll play David Bowie, performing his early '70s songs in a "tribute cabaret."

Later, we assume, the ever-cagey Magnuson will also "embody" (?) Jobriath, the first openly gay glam rocker. And it gets better: "The performance also will incorporate dreams, Jung, human sacrifice, Aztec shamanism, and all things dark, bloody, and beautiful," according to its website. Which, whoa! Arty types assuming the Bowie pose ain't nothing new, of course, but this iteration sounds interesting.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

The X Factor Makes Its US Debut, Crazy People Get Humiliated

Posted By on Fri, Sep 23, 2011 at 8:53 AM


So, this week The X Factor -- Simon Cowell's new reality show/ singing competition -- arrived on U.S. screens for the first time, and we've already had two nights of occasionally exciting, often harrowing, auditions. In case you missed it on Wednesday and last night, the operating principle is exactly as you would expect: four judges (L.A. Reid, Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger and, yes, Simon Cowell) cast judgment over a string of contestants in a variety of cities. One of the key differences between this and other music talent hunts is that the auditions happen in front of an arena-sized audience (America's Got Talent-style) which, in turn, also passes judgment -- sometimes very vocally. 

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Friday, September 2, 2011

Why Did Jack White Collaborate With the Misogynistic Insane Clown Posse?

Posted By on Fri, Sep 2, 2011 at 11:05 AM


Jack White is a man we like. We like the White Stripes, we like the Dead Weather -- hell, we even like bits and pieces of what The Raconteurs have done (yes, they're boring occasionally, but they really come alive from time to time). He's a maverick, a man with ambition, a man with creative scope. And he's handsome, which helps.

So, we're never that surprised to see Jack White pushing himself creatively. Nonetheless, we weren't terribly impressed to hear that he'd teamed up with Insane Clown Posse -- one of the biggest jokes any music-lover has had to endure for the last nineteen years.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Anderson Cooper Calls Out Chris Brown; Ladies Everywhere Swoon

Posted By on Wed, Aug 10, 2011 at 8:55 AM


So, remember that thing that happened at the 2009 Grammys? That thing where Chris Brown  and Rihanna both no-showed on account of the fact that he'd beaten the crap out of her? Then shortly afterwards, photos emerged online of a decidedly broken-looking Rihanna, sporting a swollen eye, a split lip and massive lumps on her forehead? It was a harrowing image and undoubtedly hard to forget...

...Or so you'd think. The truth of the matter is, a great deal of people seem to have erased the entire incident from their minds and somehow forgotten that Chris Brown did this, admitted to doing this, apologized weakly, then got off far too lightly in court. Apparently, enough time has passed and now all is forgiven because his fourth album is doing well, SNL welcomed him onto the show earlier this year (nothing funny about that, Lorne Michaels), and even little Justin Bieber recently recorded a duet with him (cute!).

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Friday, July 15, 2011

John Mayer Blames Twitter for His Own Stupidity; World Rolls Eyes

Posted By on Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 8:32 AM


So, guess what happened the other day? John Mayer announced to an audience of students at Berklee College in Boston that he was addicted to Twitter, prompting the sympathy of, we imagine, literally nobody. "I was a Twitterholic," he announced (possibly sobbing). "I had four million Twitter followers and I was always writing on it ... and it started to make my mind smaller and smaller and smaller and I couldn't write a song anymore."

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  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"