One thing no one can seem to agree on is whether the Bay Area music scene is dead, dying, alive, enjoying a renaissance, or fading away. If you’re like me, you’ve heard (and participated in) enough dumb arguments about the health of the scene to last a few lifetimes, and you would rather not be within spitting distance of another one ever again.

So when the opportunity arose to evaluate the Bay Area scene, I considered running screaming in the opposite direction. Making claims about the scene is the ultimate Sisyphean task since a) no one can agree, b) you will piss people off no matter what you say, and c) it changes so fast that your argument is obsolete by the time you’ve finished your sentence. Plus, getting sucked back into that discussion (read: screeching at each other drunkenly outside Slim’s during a cigarette break) sounded like my personal circle of hell.

But, because I’ve never been one to simply bow out of an argument, I redirected my focus away from making grandiose statements about the Father/Daughter and Castle Face rosters, towards saying nicer things about  scene babies that are flying a bit too under the local radar. My highly sophistical statistical boundaries were as follows: If the band had more than 1,000 likes on Facebook, the band was ineligible for this list. That's it.

So without further adieu, here are five Bay Area bands you might not know, but definitely need in your ear holes.

5. Ice Cream
It’s somehow comforting to know that at least one band on the planet doesn't prioritize Googleability when coming up with its name. In addition to being a search engine’s worst nightmare, Ice Cream occupies itself with rollicking garage-pop about girls and reckless friends with boyish charm. Take “Seventeen,” the first single from their forthcoming album, an endearing six-minute romp crammed with nostalgia for a bygone youth, squeaky clean riffs, and multiple lively solos. By the time the band reaches its half-chanted, half-sung hook on the other side of the breakdown, you’re hooked.

4. OK ECHO
Andrew Boylan has ideas in excess, and he fuses all of them into OK ECHO. So while “indie pop” might be the most useful blanket term to describe his music, it doesn’t quite do justice to the bossanova influences, crooned harmonies, and art funk grooves swirling through every song. Boylan is determined to do most everything differently, whether that means putting a violin in places where most bands would have stuck a synthesizer in or enlisting Barry Despenza to drum on a crate instead of a kit during performances. Have you ever heard of a drummer sitting on his drum for an indie pop show? Now you have.

3. Friendless Summer
The first time I saw Friendless Summer was through a very particular haze in a dingy church-turned-DIY-venue basement in the seedy part of north Denver. The herbal fog has since lifted, but I’m still loving Jack Brown’s charming-as-hell bedroom pop with its irreverent glitch art music videos to match. Brown released his first EP, Table For One, earlier this year, filling it with sweetly sung emotional anguish that never dips too low to keep you from dancing. He’s not afraid to get dark – “Out of Reach” plays the EP’s Mr. Hyde with its ominous bassline and reverb-heavy vocals – but his most consistent selling point is heartrending sincerity. And boy, it hurts so good.

2. Horrible/Adorable
Hugging giant ice cream cones on the cover of your latest EP is so punk rock – if you’re Horrible/Adorable, that is. On Lookin’ Healthy!, Oakland’s pinkest punks find love in line at the DMV and decide skateboards and pentagrams are way more fun than being good girls. It’s pretty much impossible not to fall for any band that describes itself as “creamsicle dreamsoda poprockz bubblegrunge,”  professes its love for glitter on a regular basis, and sings the line, “Why don’t you parallel park into my heart?” with a straight face. Whatever your feelings towards the heart eyes emoji, you can’t deny the duo’s pop-punk songwriting chops or stay neutral to the infectious pop riff that powers “Hail Sk8tin’” before its ferocious punk breakdown. Sugary sweet, meet kickass.

1. Bong Kitty
Laying claim to either the worst band name ever or the best band name ever, Bong Kitty plays punchy and intelligent garage-rock for misanthropes with a few leftover feelings. Frontwoman Kaitlyn Nagel sings as though she was born fed up with the bullshit; meanwhile her three bandmates let loose with snappy rhythms and bright surf-inspired guitars. That’s not to imply that Bong Kitty is all sunshine and tiny shorts. “You Hate Me Now” polishes up '90s grunge (Loud-quiet-loud, anyone?) and shimmering pop-punk influences shine through every cut on its latest EP, Worst Party Ever. Did I mention that footage of the band attempting a competitive burrito eating contest was used for a music video? Because it was, and it's freaking awesome.