The San Francisco heavy-shoegaze/doom act, King Woman, has had a mightily explosive year. Last week was the first anniversary of their Flenser Records-released debut EP, Doubt. Rolling Stone likened them to both Mazzy Star and Black Sabbath—quite the juxtaposition—and they have been hailed by fans and publications alike for their powerful, entrancing live performances in which frontwoman Kristina Esfandiari’s ethereal, seemingly incorporeal, deep voice dances above droning, glacial riffs.

These days, Esfandiari is using her social media as a platform to talk about the inequalities women face, both in the world of live music and in the perils that can come from even the most mundane activities, like walking down the street to the BART station or getting a ride home on a ridesharing app like Lyft or Uber.

Last Tuesday, Feb. 16, after returning home from a short tour with King Woman surrounding the Sundance Film Festival, Esfandiari found herself processing the memories of everything that transpired while on the road. One particular situation stood out in her mind: After being transfixed by Esfandiari’s powerful stage presence at a show, a young girl had come up to her and thanked her for “taking up space” onstage while she performed. She was grateful for the compliment, but something didn’t sit right with her: A woman who utilizes every square inch of space—both literally and figuratively—shouldn’t stand out as something out of the ordinary.

Esfandiari took to Twitter to share her thoughts on the encounter. “All I care about: creating & my ladies,” she wrote, before telling the story of the young girl. “This shouldn't be a rare thing. This shouldn't have to be considered a compliment.”

Women have so much pent up anger and expression. We are constantly told to shrink and not take up space, called "crazy" for being emotional.

— Kristina Esfandiari (@kngwmn) February 16, 2016

If you are a male that is offended by my tweets instead of trying to understand the core message: unfriend me. This isn't about you.

— Kristina Esfandiari (@kngwmn) February 16, 2016

Let it be known ladies: my shows are for YOU. I want you to freak the fuck out. You deserve that shit. Ladies to the fucking front PLEASE.

— Kristina Esfandiari (@kngwmn) February 16, 2016

Within moments, her fans were re-tweeting her message and sending her collective cheers. She continued, “At our last Oakland show it looked like a bro-fest and most of the women were sheepishly observing while the men wildly expressed. Why? Why? Desire for everyone to feel free to engage/express @ King Woman shows. I love being a performer. I live for that exchange with the crowd.”

She went on to describe several harrowing experiences, like being hit in the face by men in the front row while performing, getting taunted by men on her daily commute, and (though the tweet has since been deleted), a time when her Lyft driver locked her in the car and sexually harassed her two blocks from her house.

Ultimately, she ended her Twitter tome with an emphatic, riot grrrl-esque call to other women, “Let it be known ladies: my shows are for YOU. I want you to freak the fuck out. You deserve that shit. Ladies to the fucking front PLEASE.”

With a string of shows along the west coast on the horizon and her feminine fury aflame, Esfandiari sat down with SF Weekly to tell the stories behind her message.

King Woman plays the Elbo Room on Wednesday, March 16. More info here.



In your string of tweets last week, you mentioned a young girl coming up to you after you performed a show and thanking you for “taking up space” while you performed. What inspired you to speak up about it?
It takes me a while to process my feelings and experiences. I had a lot of time in the van and once I got back to my chaotic reality, I was in my bed checking my Twitter and it just felt like the right time to say something.

Can you describe what “taking up space” while performing means to you?
For me personally: unapologetically expressing myself, letting my voice fill the room, commanding attention and respect.

Is that a rare thing? Do men “take up” more space when they are in the crowd or when they perform? Why do you think that is?
I think men feel more comfortable to take up space, in general. Look at the society we live in. There is a very obvious male privilege.

I grew up going to all kinds of shows. I remember guys making fun of girls for moshing/dancing [and] intentionally hitting them to "teach them a lesson.” It made me feel really unsafe and insecure. I already had no place to feel safe or express myself, and this only made things worse for me.

Now there are women like myself, Sara Taylor of Youth Code, Hether Fortune of Wax Idols—those are women I love and respect. I didn't have many women to look up to when I was younger, and I'm glad women like this exist and perform now.

You’ve been hit in the face by dudes in the crowd while performing with King Woman. How does something like that happen?
I get pretty aggressive at certain shows. That's the thing, though. I am performing.

At our Oakland show [at the Starline Tavern], we were having sound issues and the room was packed. People had been waiting to see us for hours. I felt like I didn't want to waste such a special show: my city, packed show, all of my friends in the room. So I got off the stage and asked them to make a half circle so that I could be with them in the crowd. I hate stages—too divided. For me, the performance is fueled by the personal interaction, the energy from the people. I am doing this for myself but also for them. These songs carry a lot of suffering and weight. I know these people are going through some shit because they come up to me after shows and want to get in these deep discussions, which I love.

There is a difference between expressing yourself and intentionally making the show unsafe for the people around you. It was fun at first but then I started to feel this misogynistic, bro-vibe. I was really overwhelmed that night and it all happened really fast. Someone almost knocked my front teeth out. I started to feel like people were intentionally trying to hit me. My friend Kyle was trying to block people from hitting me while I was singing.

This has happened to me in other bands I have been in as well. One time a guy straight up punched me in the face for no reason right when we started our first song.

You also said, “If me talking about bros offends you/makes you feel insecure: you have some soul searching to do. I am in a band with 3 INCREDIBLE men,” which is an excellent point. You’re obviously not someone who just hates all dudes, and it would be ridiculous for someone to think that. How do the men in your band communicate with you about your experience as a woman?
The men in King Woman are incredible and intelligent men. When I tell them gnarly things that happen to me as a woman, they get really upset. They are the kind of men who will call anyone out for being inappropriate.

I'd say they are very protective of me, but also know I am a strong woman. They are all so respectful. They are my brothers.

On Twitter, you mentioned a harrowing experience you had once while taking Lyft in San Francisco, though the tweet has since been deleted. What happened?
The other day I had a situation where my Lyft driver sexually harassed me in front of MY HOUSE during the daytime. It was very traumatizing. I don't want to go into detail but this happens all of the time to the women I love. I contacted Lyft and they immediately handled the situation.

Lyft is huge in San Francisco, and the company is based there—not to mention a ton of people use apps like Lyft and Uber to get to and from venues to see shows. If people don’t feel safe, that's a huge problem. What measures can those companies take to keep women (or anyone) safer?
That's a great question. I take Uber and Lyft in order to avoid walking in bad areas, or late at night. It's sad that the transportation women are trying to use to feel safe is not as safe as we thought.

I guess I would rather be matched with female drivers, especially at night. Why? Whenever I have been sexually harassed in a Lyft/Uber, it's been by a man. The women I have experienced are nothing but cool.

I feel that they should also do better screenings of the people who drive. Just because someone has a clean record doesn't mean they aren't a totally unstable predator.

Do you think men are threatened by women who make heavy music for themselves and other women?
Insecure men will be scared, as they should be. They will see it as a threat. Everyone else will be respectful towards what I do because they understand that it is positive and powerful.

If you were to get up onstage and scream, “Ladies to the fucking front!” as you tweeted the other day, how do you think the men would react? Are you going to start implementing that at shows?
Well, I don't premeditate anything before we play shows.

I do want to encourage women to come to the front. I don't want women to feel self-conscious. Essentially what I'm saying is: I see an imbalance at shows between comfort levels as far as expression goes. I don't want that facilitated at King Woman shows. I am not saying that men can't express themselves at King Woman shows. I am saying have respect. Don't try to dominate a space where male domination is absolutely not what's up. That's idiotic. I want King Woman shows to be a place where women know they can be completely safe and free, where they can have room to let out their anger, pain, frustrations, whatever it may be.

At the end of the day, what message do you want to send to anyone who listens to your music?
Men: Show some reverence towards women and our fight against inequality. We deal with various forms of harassment/violence on a daily basis. Call out the people around you who are being shitty, even if you are the only one doing it. We don't need self-proclaimed "good guys" and "feminists"—we need your actions to speak loudly. Don't tell me you are my ally, show me.

Women: I've intentionally cultivated a sisterhood with the females around me. We lean on each other for advice, share stories, encourage, support. Finding small ways to make this world a better place for other women is really important to me personally. I try my best not to hate on other women. Yes, I am human and I would be crazy not to admit that I am also flawed. I educate myself as much as possible. I try to be nothing but inspiring and empowering towards the women around me, and you can do the same. I would suggest finding creative ways to be a helpful person towards other women. For instance, I just started making these care packages for homeless women that include essentials such as tampons and pads. There are so many creative and small ways to help other women out. Do what feels right to you. Don't take shit from anyone! I love you all so much!