The news that Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and posh actress Gwyneth Paltrow are splitting up after more than a decade together was surprisingly upsetting. First, and most obviously, they have two small children who will probably be upset by this process -- which is sad. Secondly, Martin and Paltrow always looked just right together -- each of them being in possession of a special brand of bland whiteness. Side-by-side, they always just looked like a vanilla-on-vanilla sundae -- it wasn't the most exciting flavor combination, but, dammit, it's supposed to be safe.