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Thursday, January 2, 2014

Top 7 Things To Spend the New Kanye West Digital Currency On

Posted By on Thu, Jan 2, 2014 at 12:58 PM


Kanye West is getting a digital currency, his own Bitcoin rival. Well, sort of.

In further proof of human kind's inability to resist even a plainly stupid pun, some people are creating a digital currency they're calling Coinye West, which will have Yeezus' likeness on it. You can get some starting January 11.

Get it, Coinye West? Ha, ha.

Kanye himself is not involved, although the creators of Coinye West are Tweeting wildly in the hope of changing that. As an indicator of the likelihood of this, consider that those creators also currently "want to stay sorta anonymous in case Kanye gets pissed off," as one of them told Vice UK. (At least they aren't trying to take his picture at the airport.)

Regardless, there's lots to like about the Coinye West idea, mainly that Yeezy, as an avowed advocate of conspicuous consumerism, has told us so much in his life and music about how to use money well. Now we will have the opportunity to use (virtual) money bearing his face in ways he would approve of! Here are the top six indulgences we'd like to buy with Coinye West:

7. Leather jogging pants.

6. Voluminous Hermes handbags with naked women painted on them, especially as Christmas gifts.

5. Premium time-lapse footage of clouds floating over Western landscapes at sunset.

4. Adidas sneakers (but NO Nikes).

3. Out-of-court settlements.

2. Faster croissants.

1. The Lord's forgiveness.

Okay, how will you spend your Coinye West?

-- @iPORT

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Ian S. Port


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