Ever since he unleashed the utter lunacy that was the Trapped in the Closet series, it became impossible for us to view R. Kelly as anything other than a figure of fun, of ridicule; an ambassador for people who have no grasp of reality the world over. Put simply, the kind of musician that rhymes the words "Bridget" and "midget" just never deserves to be taken seriously ever again -- no matter how many misguided teens perform "I Believe I Can Fly" on American Idol.
A few years ago, we were almost offended when R. Kelly released "Pregnant" -- a song so incredibly reductive and sexist, we'd have been up in arms about all of that barefoot-and-handcuffed-to-the-kitchen-sink stuff if it hadn't been far too ridiculous to get truly enraged about. (That's what happens when you put a straight-faced "knock you up!" refrain in the background of your shitty ballad.)
This week, however, R. Kelly released a song and accompanying video that can only be described as an absolute skin-crawler. As you watch "Cookie," it's impossible not to suddenly remember that: "Oh, yeah! Before Trapped in the Closet was cracking us up, this guy was totally accused of pissing on, and having sex with, his own 14-year-old goddaughter!"
Prepare to feel totally violated, degraded and objectified, (all) females (everywhere):
In the clip for "Cookie," R. Kelly's video bitches aren't just dehumanized objects and accessories (as is the hip-hop standard lately), they are literal servants. Which is imagery that, when coupled with lines like "Gonna beat the pussy 'til it's blue", "Break your back, crack it open like a lobster" and "I kill the pussy, dig a grave" feels extraordinarily rapey. Not to mention the fact that that whole heavy-handed vagina-as-Oreo
metaphor sounds like something a child molester might say.
"Cookie" isn't just a creep-fest, it's downright disturbing. If this is the kind of hateful shit that he says about women on tape, what the hell is he saying behind closed doors? Newsflash, Kelly: women (of the non-masochistic majority) want their genitals beaten about as much as you wanna get punched in the balls.
We wish we could just laugh "Cookie" off and dismiss it as nonsense, but the anti-woman, females-as-meaningless-accessories vibe is getting so damn mainstream, you have to start wondering how far modern R&B will go before the brakes get jammed on. R. Kelly's insanity was funny when it was poured into nonsensical short films that played out like a bad soap opera -- but now things have taken a decidedly hateful turn, it's actually kind of scary.
Regardless of how awful and unintentionally hilarious 2014's installment of Trapped in the Closet turns out to be, it's definitely time to stop laughing at R. Kelly. This man doesn't deserve any of our financial support, whether we're mocking him or not.
-- @Raemondjjjj
