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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Bon Jovi, Taylor Swift, and Prince William Are Dreaming of a White Christmas Exceedingly White, Giving Us Nightmares

Posted By on Wed, Nov 27, 2013 at 11:00 AM

Make it stop
  • Make it stop

Quick, what's the whitest thing you can think of? The latest Jennifer Aniston vehicle? That new condo on Dolores with a Whole Foods on the bottom and a fucking butterfly habitat on top?

Well, stop straining your brains, my friends -- you need to reserve energy for digestion over these next few days. Besides, a spectacle that experts have identified definitively as the Whitest Thing That Has Ever Happened went down last night, at a Kensington Palace charity event called (what else?) the Winter Whites Gala.

Observe.

Counting-the-minutes-until-the-long-weekend challenge: Put together a fantasy celeb trio and song combination that's whiter than this. Right now I'm trying to decide on the best person to join Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Paula Deen on a drunken rendition of "My Heart Will Go On," just to give you an idea of where my head's at this morning.

And to those of you who had any lingering positive feelings toward "Livin' on a Prayer" that survived the 2010 World Series: Sorry. Kind of.

-- @emmaruthless


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Emma Silvers

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