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Friday, July 12, 2013

Britney Spears and a Pile of Smurfs Will Be Torturing the Rest of Your Summer

Posted By on Fri, Jul 12, 2013 at 9:28 AM

click to enlarge bs.jpg

Prepare yourselves everybody -- and we do mean everybody that ever leaves the house, goes shopping, or comes into the vicinity of a radio -- for you are about to spend the rest of the summer with a sickly-sweet, yet somehow incredibly bland pop song from Ms. Britney Spears ringing in your ears. 

We like Britney Spears. We do. We think she has moments of sheer dance-pop genius -- "'Till The World Ends" from last album, 2011's Femme Fatale, was a ludicrously catchy example of her doing well. We like her best when she's a little bit wink-wink-nudge naughty though, so it's no surprise that her contribution to the Smurfs 2 soundtrack, "Ooh La La," isn't exactly to our taste. (Just do another "Toxic" already, Britters!)

We understand that, with movie soundtracks, there is always a pressure to do lowest-common-denominator pop, or contrived schmaltz. Here, Spears indulges in the former. And, hell, when you watch the video for "Ooh La La," you'll notice that even she seems a little awkward and embarrassed by the whole thing. (Note: At some point during the course of this, you will long for Ms.Spears to accidentally jump on one of her little blue friends with her giant leopard print heels.)

The word "formulaic" doesn't even begin to describe the mediocre and predictable nature of this thing. If we thought it was going to be confined to children's parties and Middle School dances, we might not be so annoyed by "Ooh La La," but we already know how much we're going to be clubbed over the head by this thing for the rest of the summer.

Britney hasn't played it this safe in years. And while we're glad to see that her manic, head-shaving days are long gone, we also don't like seeing her be this middle-of-the-road normal. Couldn't they have hired a much younger pop tart to record this for the soundtrack? We had hoped and assumed that Britney outgrew this type of thing years ago.

-- @Raemondjjjj

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