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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Five Musicians' Kids Who Have Better Jobs Than You

Posted By on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 3:30 AM

Guess what, everybody? Despite the invention of child labor laws, there are whole gangs of marauding teens with careers more dazzling and exciting than any of ours. How does this depressing turn of events transpire? Well, usually it happens because someone famous made those children with their private parts. Yesterday, it was announced that the offspring of Notorious B.I.G. (rest his soul) are about to star in a new cartoon based around Biggie's recording studio. We're happy for them and all, but it got us thinking about all the kids who have more exciting jobs than normal humans (with non-famous parents). Here are some of the most notable ones.

Willow Smith

If you were made by the reproductive organs of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, chances are there's some pressure on you to be fly. Willow Smith appeared in her papa's awesome zombie movie, I Am Legend, then got her swag on and responded to the challenge of super-successful parents by whipping her hair back and forth... and subsequently getting to No. 11 on the Billboard chart. Which was funny because she was 11 years old at the time. Ahem.

Lourdes Ciccone Leon


In 2010, Madonna's oldest offspring went into business with her ol' ma as a "creative consultant," and helped come up with Material Girl -- a line of clothes and cosmetics aimed at teens, and advertised by another celebrity child, Kelly Osbourne. Lourdes was 14 when the line originally launched. Which isn't depressing for budding fashion designers everywhere, at all. (This is sarcasm.)

Noah Cyrus


When Billy Ray Cyrus had an international smash hit with "Achy Breaky Heart" in 1992, no one could have predicted that his would be the mullet that lived on forever. First there came Miley (who, post-Hannah Montana, we rather like, truth be told). Now there's Noah Cyrus, who started acting at the age of 3 and then, in 2010, launched a line of -- try not to puke in your mouth when you read the next two words -- children's lingerie. Because, apparently, underage girls aren't sexualized enough by the media and advertising already. It's called Ooh! La, La Couture, which is in no way creepy, or fuel for pedophiles. (Also sarcasm.)

Georgia Jagger


Let's be honest: if your parents are the extraordinarily charismatic Mick Jagger and the classically beautiful Texan model Jerry Hall, then you are undoubtedly going to be as genetically blessed as Georgia Jagger predictably is. The fashion houses adore her -- she's been the face of both Versace and Chanel. Truthfully, with looks like that she was probably always going to make it, though. Stupid awesome genes.

Jaden Smith


The ol' Pinkett-Smith clan must rule the world, you know. It's just an inevitability -- like the apocalypse and drag queen Cher impersonators. We're not even mad about Jaden getting to star in a movie with Jackie Chan at the age of 12, though, because (A) he was amazing with his dad in The Pursuit of Happyness, and (B) that kid can totally do the splits when he's standing up. And that's next-level hard.

-- @Raemondjjjj

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Rae Alexandra


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