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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

10 Great Songs About Cheating on Your Lover

Posted By on Wed, Jan 23, 2013 at 9:15 AM

Depending on your perspective, cheating's a little bit naughty, a whole bunch of fun, or one of the worst things you could possibly do to another human being. Here are our 10 favorite songs about not being able to keep it in your pants when you're supposed to.

"Cry Me A River," Justin Timberlake

The moment we realized that we were madly in love with Justin Timberlake was when he released this timeless ode to getting fucked over by your lover. It caused quite the stir at the time, in part because Justin had only recently split from longtime love Britney Spears -- and he put a girl in the video who looked just like her. Last week, the song proved useful once more, when Selena Gomez did a (weak) cover of "Cry Me A River" and called out former boyfriend Justin Bieber. Alas, even beautiful people get cheated on -- we're not sure if that's a relief or just monumentally depressing.

"Creep," TLC

What's the best thing to do when your man is cheating on you? Confront him? Have a conversation about it? Try couples therapy? Not according to TLC. Nope, on "Creep", T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli advocated just cheating on him right back. That's one way of handling it, ladies.

"Misery Business," Paramore

We wanna hate this song on the grounds that it pits women against each other, leaves an unfaithful dude entirely blameless for his actions, and basically glorifies taking back a man who cheated on you, left you for eight months, and who you only got back because the other woman dumped him. That all sounds stupid and terrible to us. But Hayley Williams sounds positively thrilled. Which means "Misery Business" is ridiculously catchy. Let's just call it a guilty pleasure and move on.

"OPP," Naughty By Nature

We can't help but chuckle thinking about how many small children sang along to this in 1991, completely unaware that "OPP" stood for "Other People's Pussy/Penis" -- i.e., having sex with people who are already in other relationships. That's one way of getting your needs met without having to get involved in a pesky long-term commitment. Sure, it's kinda wrong... But it also kinda makes perfect sense.

"Sluttering," Jawbreaker

Few vocalists on Earth have successfully nailed the pain, bitterness, and unabashed misery that comes with heartbreak the way that Jawbreaker frontman Blake Schwarzenbach did here. "Congratulations to you both, I hope somewhere you're happy," he spits sarcastically, before really putting the boot in with: "This is a story you won't tell the kids we'll never have." Ouch.

"I'm No Good," Amy Winehouse

Let's be honest: Amy Winehouse's Back To Black album is just a catalog of two people treating each other like absolute poo. Here, Winehouse cheats on her man, thereby cheating herself, then rolls around in self-loathing as a result. She nails the horror of being busted by your significant other so epically here, it's downright scarring.

"Say My Name," Destiny's Child

If you cheat on Beyonce, you are an idiot of the highest order. Here's a song about someone that stupid. It's fucking awesome.

"Fell In Love With a Girl," The White Stripes

It's short and sweet, but "Fell In Love With A Girl" really speaks to that moment when you know you're far too involved with someone who already has a someone, but you just can't stop seeing them because your brain is in your pants. Man, that stuff makes you feel like a dumbass.

"Cold Shoulder," Adele

You know that thing some guys do, where you suspect them of cheating (because they're not hiding it very well), and when you call them on it, they try and flip it around and make you feel like an overly-hormonal crazy woman? Adele does. Which is why she wrote "Cold Shoulder". Man, she's been out with some bastards.

"Your Cheatin' Heart," Patsy Cline

If you cheat on someone, you'll end up paying for it with untold self-inflicted misery and loneliness. Patsy Cline knew what she was talking about -- Amy Winehouse backed up her theory a few decades later. Keep it in your pants, everybody!

-- @Raemondjjjj

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