If you were masochistic enough to sit through the coverage of the Republican National Convention in its entirety, then you'd have heard good ol' country boy Trace Adkins doing a heartfelt rendition of a song titled "Tough People Do" (which is ironic given that Mitt Romney hasn't had a tough day in his over-privileged life.) Well, throw a party because this week, you too can own this piece of flag-waving, jingoistic nonsense. Why is this thing so awful? Let us count the ways...
1. The Opening Line:
"Back in '39, she was 26, The wife of a soldier trying to raise four kids." Hey Trace! You know what's awesome about living in 2012 instead of 1939? Ladies have access to birth control now, so they don't have to get stuck at home raising four children alone on a budget that doesn't allow them to turn the heat on! Today, thanks to Planned Parenthood and the invention of the pill, 26-year-old women don't have to try and keep too many children warm using only "a patchwork quilt" and "watered down milk." But hey, thanks for trying to make that hellish scenario sound romantic, because if the Republicans get their way, the ladies of this fine nation will be back, barefoot and pregnant and shackled to a kitchen sink with no morning after pill and not an abortion clinic in sight. Stop trying to make this shit sound awesome, Trace. It's grim, mate. Grim.
2. Mentioning a Soldier in the First Five Seconds
Right-wing folks just have to drag the military into absolutely everything because it's a quick way to get people to not argue with their war-related points of view. It's cheap and it's manipulative and it's a totally over-used device. We can support our troops without supporting wars that get this nation deeper into debt and waste the lives of our dedicated service people. Quit it.
3. "Tough Times Don't Last, Tough People Do..."
You know that thing the Republicans were doing for the entire RNC? That thing where they used sweeping generalizations, told us they were going to fix the country, then offered no specific methods of doing so whatsoever? This chorus reminds us of that. So we hate it. Even though we quite like tough people and a general sense of survivalist spirit.