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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Kreayshawn's Somethin 'Bout Kreay: A First Listen

Posted By on Thu, Sep 20, 2012 at 9:18 AM

Page 2 of 2

"Breakfast (Syrup)"

Anyway no, seriously. Let's talk for a second about "trollgaze." Maybe you expected me to love this record because I grew fascinated with Tyler, the Creator's pathos until he topped my 2011 albums list, or because I think Lana Del Rey is mostly wonderful with words and her hanged-herself-from-the-Hollywood-sign tortured Lynchian actress shtick works as torture porn with the occasional cutting insight. But what is Kreay supposed to be? She's not emo (like Kitty Pryde), not satire (like Die Antwoord), not particularly funny or slutty. She mentions Adderall and Twitter and various 21st century indulgences without really revealing so much as a state of mind. If she's happy, angry, horny, sad, you can't tell from her songs. "Breakfast" isn't a metaphor, in case you were wondering. She just lists breakfast foods and talks about stacks of money in between. 2 Chainz does that thing where he yells his name.

"Go Hard (La. La. La.)"

This song almost appears to have a subject: people at minimum wage jobs, although it's unclear why they'd steal their mom's credit card to "do circles in the parking lot." She's not really dissing or advising them. And not that "go hard" has a particularly esoteric meaning, but she genuinely does not appear to know what it means. Exceptionally annoying.

"The Ruler"

If your song's called "The Ruler" and it doesn't involve Slick Rick, it better be about yardsticks. First she talks about nothing but gold for the first verse, then a relief, she is calling herself Slick Rick. But wait, why?

"Luv Haus"

A whiny synth-pop song at a crawling latter-day Britney tempo without the hooks or, gosh, the singing. No one would dance to this. No one would listen to it, either. And what's the final moment? Is that a dubstep drop? This is indeed "trollgaze" -- it's music for Youtube commenters. Unheard-of pointlessness. Swag: pumping out her butthole. One of the worst albums of the year.

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