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Friday, July 13, 2012

The Top 10 Most Disappointing Albums of 2012 (So Far)

Posted By on Fri, Jul 13, 2012 at 3:00 AM

It's a little past the halfway point of 2012, but mid-July still seems like a good time to round up the albums that came out this year and simply failed to meet our expectations. Some of those expectations were admittedly (and deservedly) sky-high -- leading to decent records that still felt like a bummer -- and some were so modest we're in disbelief that they weren't met. In any case, we All Shook Down writers decided to weigh in on the 10 albums of 2012 that have so far proved most disappointing. Here's what we got.

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Madonna

MDNA

[Boy Toy, Inc./Live Nation/Interscope]

Guess what, Madge? When the whole pop landscape's turned into one wub-wubbing, whomp-whomping, oonce-oonce-ing neon foam party, you're the person we want to provide some relief. With MDNA, we wanted you to show a way forward from the endlessly '90s-excavating Eurobeat obsession that passes for pop music these days. But instead of doing that, instead of adding even just the slightest bit of your own freaky and/or inventive twist, you fell in line and laid vocals over mostly banal big-room beats from Martin Solveig and Benny Benassi, sounding like lesser artists 20 years your junior. Even the presence of two of pop's most promising young females -- Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. -- couldn't save the bland "Give Me All Your Luvin'." The fact that you point out here that "every record sounds the same" just makes us sadder that yours does, too. -- Ian S. Port

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Sleigh Bells

Reign of Terror

[Mom & Pop Music]

What made Sleigh Bells' debut album standout was the fuzz. There were clear metal elements and a certain kind of rawness in songs like "Crown on the Ground." With Reign of Terror, though, the fuzz is gone. The band cleaned up their sound, had their SNL gig and SPIN cover moments. But the hype didn't match an overproduced product. Coming into 2012, Reign of Terror would've been predicted to land on year-end Top 10s, but you won't even find it on a midyear list (outside of this one, sadly). -- Nathan Mattise

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The Flaming Lips

The Flaming Lips and Heady Fwends



[Warner Bros.]

The Ke$ha track abrades in an almost compelling way, and the Erykah track was surprisingly tasteful even if the degrading nightmare of the video was not. But there's so much length and so little release on display; many of these songs are slow, underwritten, or a lesson in collaboration between Interesting Band A and Random Artist B not equaling Captivating Album C. The Flaming Lips' musical imagination is turning gray and sludgy, which is a shame compared to their ultra-colorful ideas for edible gummy album releases and that always-kaleidoscopic live show. When they weren't planning originally on a mass release, they were right the first time.

 -- Dan Weiss

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Curren$y

Muscle Car Chronicles



[DD172]

In 2010, stoned Louisiana native Curren$y released Pilot Talk and Pilot Talk II, which pushed the boundaries of stoner rap indeed. But 2011 brought three more Curren$y albums that barely managed to get out of bed. So did anyone so soon need another vault-clearing from this relentless self-promoter ? He announced this live-band experiment so long ago and the title's so cool, at the very least it would have be to be decent, generic funk, right? Wrong. This is cheapo product with no reason to exist other than to be product -- it's like Pokemon cards with street cred. 

 -- Dan Weiss

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Neil Young and Crazy Horse

Americana

[Reprise]

We're just about the last people in the world who'd complain about a record where Neil Young gets together with his old rock band and jams sloppy with the fuzz pedals turned up for the better part of an hour. As much as it pains us to say it, though, hearing Young and Crazy Horse rock out on the old-timey U.S. standards of Americana just isn't as awesome as we want it to be. The sonics are gorgeous, of course -- this is as rich and wet and harmonic as distorted guitar gets -- but the songs themselves are rather torpid. Most of the simple tunes sag under the weight of the fussy noodling, and few have the multivalent emotionalism that Young's own songs do, making the appeal here far more superficial than we'd hoped. -- Ian S. Port

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The Shins

Port of Morrow

[Columbia]

The Shins' latest is like that stunning hottie that strolls into a party, the one you can't take your eyes off... until they start talking. Port of Morrow is regrettably a sexy smoke and mirrors affair, an immaculate production wrapped around far too little of James Mercer's hooky pop acumen to merit the now-illustrious mantle of a Shins record. Dude, where's the songs? Is Danger Mouse hoarding them? Perhaps his dismissed bandmates won them in their recent split. Either way, this record is aural cruise control. -- Alee Karim

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Joey Ramone

Ya Know?

[BMG]

The whispers and speculation regarding unreleased Joey Ramone material following his death and first posthumous solo album more than a decade ago reared its slick, overproduced, half-baked head earlier this year with the release of Ya Know. The grim suspicion has been confirmed: Joey Ramone's unfinished material wasn't fit for release. The parade of seasoned rockers responsible for finishing the songs on Ya Know never maintained the relevance and consistency of Joey during their own careers, and it shows in their performance. The exoskeleton of Joey's signature songwriting is there, but heavy-handed production and bad tones obscure it beyond enjoyment. -- San Lefebvre

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Craig Finn

Clear Heart Full Eyes



[Vagrant]

Yes, it's better than the last Hold Steady album, which really hit a wall ("Rock Problems" indeed). And yes, country songs change up the pace in a tight and tuneful way that would be crucial for any solo debut. But times are tough when slowing down and crooning is your saving grace, especially when you have the voice of an automotive pitchman. Respect Finn's desire to distance himself from the (limited) lyrical universe he created, but don't assume he's got as many good stories about the recession. Word to the hipsters who think this might be cleverer than actual country: "New Friend Jesus" has nothing on Hayes Carll's "She Left Me for Jesus." -- Dan Weiss

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Damon Albarn

Dr. Dee

[Virgin]

Can Blur fans worldwide start an intervention? If the dreams of a reunion aren't dead yet, listen to Dr. Dee. The days when Albarn could magically fuse Britpop and alternative influences are long gone. Here, he does his best impression of a poor man's album from The Dears, his vocals droopily lamenting over some laughable, minimalist orchestral arrangements. It's worse than it sounds, and that really says something. Logically at least, Dr. Dee's critical backlash should lead to some new Gorillaz material. After all, Albarn can't possibly want to show his face alone after this one. -- Nathan Mattise

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Beach House

Bloom

[Sub Pop]

There's nothing exactly bad about the new Beach House album -- it's pretty much the blend of languid melodies, expansive soundscapes, and chill vibes you'd expect. Which is exactly the problem. See, we've already got three Beach House albums, and they all sound quite similar to this. Bloom offers slightly more refinement, sure -- the production is lusher, the songs slightly more confident -- but overall it finds the band doing exactly what it's been exalted for doing its entire career. We weren't expecting Beach House to make a death metal record, but we were hoping that the leading dream pop band would seek at least a slight change or advancement over its already very-well-established sound. We thought the band might, y'know, want to challenge itself. Call us crazy, but we're disappointed that Bloom is just more of the same. -- Ian S. Port

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