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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Top 10 Signs of Punk Rock's Life and Death at the Warped Tour

Posted By on Tue, Jun 26, 2012 at 12:34 PM

Yes, the Warped Tour still exists. Maybe you think it's largely for kids with dyed-black hair, studded belts, shredded Vans, and a taste for anthemic three-chord mall-rock. And maybe you're right. But has the Warped Tour really gotten soft? We weren't sure, so we took a reading of the festival's punk rock-ness below, finding signs of both life and death at its most recent S.F. stop this past Saturday. Behold:

10. Sign of Life: Punk Rock Hair

CHRISTOPHER VICTORIO
  • Christopher Victorio
If the whippersnappers behind you can't see anything through your crusty, G.B.H.-era punk spikes, you're doing it right.

9. Sign of Death: Kreayshawn was there

CHRISTOPHER VICTORIO
  • Christopher Victorio
At least the influence of her look. But come to think of it, maybe that's not a bad thing?

8. Sign of Life: Disgusting personal grooming habits

dirty_toes_mayday_parade_img_8575.jpg
Raise your punk cred score by three points for every square inch of bare skin that's covered in black dirt.

7. Sign of Death: Musical instruments that aren't guitars, drums, or basses

CHRISTOPHER VICTORIO
  • Christopher Victorio
What is this, a twee convention? Get that shit out of your mouth and play another power chord, dude -- that's all anyone came to hear.

6. Sign of Life: Crowds of people putting middle fingers in the air

CHRISTOPHER VICTORIO
  • Christopher Victorio
Hey, it's practice in case they ever decide to commit actual rebellion.

5. Sign of Death: People in stupid costumes

batman_dude_img_0151.jpg
Comic-Con is in San Diego, bro.

4. Sign of Life: Band members still jumping stupidly high into the air mid-song

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Height from stage to bottom of shoe directly related to badassery of song being performed.

3. Sign of Death: Musicians looking goofy and harmless onstage

stupid_lookin_dude_all_time_low_img_5004.jpg
Pink hair and a Paul Reed Smith? This dude is to punk what Bret Michaels is to metal.

2. Sign of Life: Circle pits

circle_pit_img_0354.jpg

How better to take out your aggression than running around a tiny loop in the same direction as everyone else!

1. Sign of Death: A tent where parents can hang out

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You brought your parents to this thing and you didn't push them into the pit?

See more photos from the Warped Tour's S.F. stop here.

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Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Ian S. Port @iPORT, and like us at Facebook.com/SFAllShookDown.

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Ian S. Port

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