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"I'm a Sinner"
This album's really not as bad as people are saying, but is
it ever empty. From the spare sound (did half of these even have basslines?) to
the song-by-the-numbers lyrics and writing, it sounds like amateur tinkling rather
than world's premier living pop star conquering her Super Bowl year. It's hard
to imagine anyone loving these songs -- they feel like exercises. "I'm a sinner/
And I like it that way" is one of the most distinctive lyrics on this album. It's
even more amazing to think I was calling Gaga this factory-driven a few years
ago. And right, another song that should not be five minutes long.
"Love Spent"
BANJO. Finally, a surprise! This one sounds kind of like Haddaway's
"What Is Love" with rigor mortis. One of the true highlights: Even the metaphor
"spend your love on me" has some intensity to it, as if she wants to exhaust him
like those before have exhausted her. Some subtle woman-scorned stuff. And even
more complex: "love me like your money." And she nicely cannibalizes the synth
from her own "Hung Up" in a wink. This album needs more winks though.
"Masterpiece"
In which William Orbit apes a dated Timbaland boom-boom-clap
for a ballad with acoustic guitar and strings. Hard to say what she was going
for here, but nevertheless, don't let the title fool you. I do like the line "It
hurt so much to be in love with a masterpiece," but other than some painting
imagery, I wish I knew what was so great about this guy. If I was going to
discern themes on this album, I'd dig hard and say her last breakup involved
some issues of insecurity about fame and attention. But I mean, dude. When you
date Madonna you're going to take a backseat. Everyone knows that.
"Falling Free"
Pretty! Psychedelic detuned synths, and the billionth
variation on Tears for Fears' "Mad World" melody. Double-tracked vocals. No
drums. But she's too old for this "hearts are intertwined" tripe. Or a rhyme as
embarrassing as "that growing thing." MDNA
might not actually be that lazy, but between the annoying repetition, the
padded track lengths, the Microkorgs leading and buttressing every surprisingly
well-preserved note, depersonalized lyrical concepts and the half-hearted
rave-rock fusion, she could've tried harder or allowed her actual idea-filled guests
to dominate or something.
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