Dear Karl,
We know you live in a world where protruding bones, malnourishment, and constant critical analysis of the female form is perfectly normal, but we don't like it very much when you step into our world (the non-fashion one, where ladies are allowed to eat more than 500 calories worth of food a day if they want to), and force your limited view of womanhood on everyone.
We hate to state the obvious, Karl, but Adele's dress size should be no concern of yours. As you point out, she has a divine voice -- one of the finest in music today. Her job is not to fall in line with your fashion ideologies, and her job is not to be a voiceless clothes-horse on a catwalk. Her job is to write soul-shattering songs that move us to tears every five minutes. Her job is to sing that beautiful ass of hers off. If someone asked you about Pavarotti, would you talk about his size first, or his voice? We're betting you'd go straight to the vocals, rather than bringing them up almost as an afterthought to his weight, like you just did with Adele. But of course Pavarotti -- even though he was about ten times larger than Adele -- didn't have to worry about such nonsense, because he was a man.
Do you know how sick and tired rounder women are of hearing that whole "but she has a beautiful face" add-on after the "fatty" accusation? That weird, oh so common, backhanded compliment is one of the most
patronizing things a woman could ever hear, and altogether too many women have to hear it on a regular basis. When you say something like that, it's like you're apologizing on their behalf and asking the world to look past something they are probably perfectly happy with. Who are you to say that being "a little fat" is a bad thing?
We know you fashion types usually like to jump to the "thin is healthier" argument at this juncture, but, frankly, you're wrong. Sure, any extreme is bad for you -- being morbidly obese is unhealthy, and being anorexic is unhealthy. But according to a national 2009 study, people classified as "overweight" on the BMI index actually lived the longest out of all the weight categories on that chart. Are you worried Adele might live longer than all those models you surround yourself with?
We hate to stoop to your level Karl, but you yourself haven't always been the most slender of gentlemen. Up until you decided to re-fashion yourself as a reanimated corpse a few years ago, you were definitely rotund. But then you lost 92 pounds in little over a year, and revealed how you did it in The Karl Lagerfeld Diet by Jean-Claude Houdret: No more than 1,200 calories a day (which is less than half of the recommended daily amount for a man), no exercise (because it "runs the risk of making you hungry"), and lots of diet sodas and sweeteners. Not only did you look happier before the weight loss, you were probably healthier.
have bigger boobs, and how it wears them down. And I don't want that in my life."
Similarly, she told Rolling Stone the summer before that: "I don't like going to the gym. I like eating fine foods and drinking
nice wine."
We know who we'd rather go out for an evening with, Karl. Next time someone asks you about a musician, why don't you talk about her music, or -- since it's your thing -- her clothes? Her size and shape has nothing to do with you, or anyone else for that matter. At 78, you should know better.
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