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Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Top Five Most Heinous Pop Songs of 2011

Posted By on Thu, Dec 29, 2011 at 7:29 AM

Yesterday, we gave you our votes for the top five pop songs of 2011. But to be perfectly honest, in our look back over the last 12 months, we found far more pop moments that made us want to rip our own ears off than ones that made us want to dance like small children. Here are the worst abominations the pop charts saw this year.

5. "Criminal," Britney Spears

Three words: Pan flute solo.

4. "Mistletoe," Justin Bieber

Like Bieber wasn't enough of a problem already, this year we had to stomach him releasing a goddamn Christmas album. We didn't know it was possible to be this enraged by something so incredibly bland and stupid. Thanks, kid. Between this insipid song and the sight of you making out in the video, we really want to slap you round the face and send you to bed early.

3. "Don't Stop The Party," The Black Eyed Peas

That Super Bowl halftime show was searingly awful on so many levels, it was an inevitability that these uber-douches would end up on one of our end-of-year worst lists. The reason we chose this song over all the other swill they've produced this year is because rhyming the word "pinnacle" with "genitals" is simply inexcusable, whichever way you look at it. "Don't Stop The Party" is utterly unimaginative and predictable from start to excruciating finish. It doesn't just make us wonder who buys this nonsense, it enrages us that anyone would even consider doing so.

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Rae Alexandra


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