Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Michael Jackson's Hair Gets Turned into a Roulette Ball (We're Not Kidding)

Posted By on Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 8:54 AM


Yesterday, we had to walk away from our desks and go and sit in a darkened room for an hour to mourn the fact that exploitative, sick-fuck-dom just got taken to a whole new level by three separate groups of people, operating together as a sort of bloated super-leech. Prepare to wrinkle up your face in disgust as we tell you that a website called Online Gambling Pal recently purchased some of Michael Jackson's hair (for $10,871) and is -- in a move that even Elvis' jumpsuit designer would probably call tacky -- turning it into a roulette ball.

According to the website, "The sample of hair was collected at New York's Carlyle Hotel, where Jackson had been staying while attending a charity event." Collected? What does that mean? Fished out of a drain after he'd left? Picked out of carpets and trash cans? Did they have a team of maids crawling around on their hands and knees frantically searching for strands of M.J.? Based on the photo of the hair sample, it seems pretty likely.


The leeches that collected the hair then passed the hideous sample onto the leeches at Gotta Have Rock N to auction off, who ultimately sold it to the leeches at Online Gambling Pal, who "decided to convert Michael Jackson's hair into a roulette ball -- an

appropriately unique way to immortalize a small part of a truly peerless


That might be the least appropriate use of the word "appropriate" we've ever seen. There is absolutely nothing appropriate about any of this lunacy.

Online Gambling Pal goes on: "The ball itself will be made to the highest professional standards, ensuring it will be eligible for use at any licensed casino's

roulette table. Indeed, considering Jackson dedicated his life to

entertaining millions, the prospect of this very special ball

captivating crowds at roulette tables seems like a fitting use for it." Actually, gambling weirdos, the fitting thing to do with a ball of discarded hair is to -- pay attention, because this part may actually blow your sick little minds -- discard it. Flush it, trash it, get rid of it, it's gross.


Finally, OGP finished up its hyperbole-filled report of events with: "We would therefore like to encourage any casino interested in using this unique ball at its tables to contact us. Together, we can ensure Michael Jackson continues to rock and 'ROLL' forever." Seriously, people? You had to capitalize the word "roll," there? In case we didn't get the pun?

What we'd really like to know, Online Gambling Pal, is how much you're going to charge casinos to borrow this travesty of an item? Are you going to send any of that twisted money to Michael's orphaned children? We sincerely doubt it. And what about you, casinos? Are you seriously going to encourage Jackson's mourning fans to gamble away their hard-earned dollars with the promise that it will get them closer to their hero? Have you literally no shame?

This whole incident just serves to emphasize how far people are willing to go to make a buck, and how exploitation of both celebrities and fans is, seemingly, at an all time high. We can only hope that this isn't something Michael Jackson's fans will buy into, since it's obvious that everyone involved in this chain of events couldn't care less about Michael Jackson or his legacy, but rather only how much cash they can potentially make off the back of his name and premature passing. We sincerely hope none of them make a cent.


Follow us on Twitter @SFAllShookDown, follow Rae Alexandra @Raemondjjjj, and like us at

  • Pin It

Tags: , , , ,

About The Author

Rae Alexandra


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"