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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

R.I.P. Warrant's Jani Lane: Top Five Sexist Rock Videos He'd Have Enjoyed

Posted By on Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 8:42 AM

R.I.P. Jani Lane
  • R.I.P. Jani Lane

Like us, you are probably still reeling from the news that Warrant frontman Jani Lane, died last week. Okay, so maybe it's not a "probably" situation -- maybe it's more of a "maybe" kind of thing. Come to think of it, maybe, if you were born after 1990, you've never even heard of Warrant (and that would be a genuine shame). Regardless, Jani died last week and he was only 47, so, as a tribute, and in his honor, we'd like to dedicate this list to him, featuring, as it does, many, many scantily-attired women (which we know he liked quite a bit), and probably some of his friends too. Here's the top five sexist hard rock videos he'd have loved.

5. "Legs," ZZ Top

You know what lowly shoe store attendants need? Makeovers, that's what. Makeovers conducted by three metal spokesmodels and masterminded by two old, dirty bearded men and their moustachioed side-kick. Because if you're female, it is impossible to feel fulfilled or empowered, without (a) a shopping montage and (b) wearing frilly pink ankle socks and skirts that flash your underwear to the world every time you move. As we all know, when skirts get shorter, the ability to fight back increases. Glad that's cleared up, then.

4. "California Girls," David Lee Roth

Ol' Dave is definitely one of the most guilty teachers in the woman-as-accessory school of thought, as you'll see in this video, where so much attention is given to breasts and buttocks, we're almost completely sure that none of these women even have faces. Dave gets a free pass though because he shows a fair bit of flesh himself (underneath all that chest hair). And, gosh, it's hard to even stay mad at that goofy prankster when he's high-kicking around the place like a buffoon.

3. Warrant, "Cherry Pie"

Warrant was clearly terrified that its audience wasn't going to get the oh so subtle vagina-as-dessert metaphor running rampant through this song, so when it came to making the video, the members felt the need to include a slow-motion shot of a slice of cherry pie falling straight into the lap of an ex-Miss Teen U.S.A. contestant. In case we're still not clear, they then get her all wet with their massive hose. Nice one, fellas -- all that sex stuff would've gone straight over our heads had you not helped us out like that.

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