Dear Adele,
We'd like to congratulate you on being in the Top 3 of the Billboard chart, with your incredible 21 album, for 22 weeks straight now. For 12 of those, you've been at No. 1, and we couldn't be happier for you. It's an amazing feat.
We think this achievement is incredible for a number of reasons, but let's start by saying that you're the only 23-year-old woman we can think of who's achieving this level of success in the charts right now while in a fully clothed state. We'd started to think that unless young ladies ran around in their underwear, wearing ridiculous bras and cliched corsets and all manner of ass-baring panties, no one would even give them a record deal. But you've gone and proved us wrong, and shown us that yes, sometimes, sheer, unabashed talent will prevail over all else. Phew, Adele. Phew.