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Paul McCartney
C'mon. The real McCartney died in a car wreck in November 1967. The fake McCartney, Fauxl, as he's been called, is named Billy Shears Campbell. He's going to die of natural causes.
Mariah Carey
Shoevalanche.
Bono
After keeping his condition a secret for decades, Bono finally dies of AIDS. All of a sudden all that charity work he did doesn't seem so selfless, now does it?
Trent Reznor
While in line at Taco Bell waiting to order third a Baja Beef Gordita, the Nine Inch Nails singer will suffer a fatal embolism. His final moments will be spent grasping at napkins and Fire Sauce packets as he collapses to the floor.
Lady Gaga
Amid the smoldering rubble of American cities, under dark toxic ash clouds, Lady Gaga's batteries will release their final joules. No one will be there to witness her aluminum skeleton's diminishing twitches as she hunches toward the Earth, giving the illusion of a small silver child quietly crying or falling asleep. For the first time since the beginning of her career, she will possess an endearing, almost-human quality.
Jay-Z
Shoevalanche.
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