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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

How Your Favorite Musicians Will Die

Posted By on Wed, Jun 22, 2011 at 8:31 AM

Page 2 of 2

Paul McCartney


C'mon. The real McCartney died in a car wreck in November 1967. The fake McCartney, Fauxl, as he's been called, is named Billy Shears Campbell. He's going to die of natural causes.

Mariah Carey




After keeping his condition a secret for decades, Bono finally dies of AIDS. All of a sudden all that charity work he did doesn't seem so selfless, now does it?

Trent Reznor

click to enlarge ROB SHERIDAN
  • Rob Sheridan

While in line at Taco Bell waiting to order third a Baja Beef Gordita, the Nine Inch Nails singer will suffer a fatal embolism. His final moments will be spent grasping at napkins and Fire Sauce packets as he collapses to the floor.

Lady Gaga


Amid the smoldering rubble of American cities, under dark toxic ash clouds, Lady Gaga's batteries will release their final joules. No one will be there to witness her aluminum skeleton's diminishing twitches as she hunches toward the Earth, giving the illusion of a small silver child quietly crying or falling asleep. For the first time since the beginning of her career, she will possess an endearing, almost-human quality.




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Edward Fairchild


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