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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Limp Bizkit's Gold Cobra: A Catalog of Disaster

Posted By on Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 2:15 PM

Page 2 of 2

Douche Bag
Au contraire, says the future NRA Man of the Year. You can't accuse Fred Durst of not writing what he knows, but this isn't the best thing here because of cutting barbs like "You just crying cause you ain't got milk." Wes Borland isn't the world's worst guitarist, which makes him an ill fit for this band. Quick, someone call McSweeney's: "Douchebag/I'ma fuck you up/Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you up."

Walking Away
This is a really unremarkable ballad, so I'm just going to use this space to point out that Limp Bizkit has actually had good songs. "N 2 Gether Now" and "Getcha Groove On" put Method Man and Xzibit on high-grade beats and stayed out of the way -- no one has ever complained about that. "Rollin'," "Break Stuff," "My Generation," and "My Way" accomplished all the destruction they were supposed to and plenty they were not (Rapestock '99). "Re-Arranged" had a fancy little bassline that proved the group could lowball. "Nookie" was the band's one serious honest-to-pop classic, video with red-hatted Fredgirls and all. But it's about time they stuck it up their yeahs.

Loser
"I'm a loser, yes it's true," Fred suddenly realizes over a farting chord compression. "We bring out the worst in each other/That ain't no way to love another" is probably his most honest observation ever. Too bad he's the 987,358,846th person to observe it. Not sarcasm: impressive guitar solo. Wondering if I slept on Borland side projects Eat the Day or Big Dumb Face.

Autotunage
Occasionally a riff here and a big grinning "Ladies and gentlemannnnnnnn" there brings to mind the relatively fun Bizkit of old (relatively, relatively). But this band is just so fucking stupid, it's hard to remember why the nostalgia in the first place. I vaguely recall their rebellious air and record number of "fuck"s in one song, but then I remember that Fred was an Interscope VP. Swear to no one in particular his sing-rapping on this one sounds like an attempt at recent Kanye, and not just because he used guess what on his voice.

90.2.10
Straight Slayer-metal intro is kind of cool, double kicks and all, and I'm briefly excited for the possibility of Fred taking on a whole genre that hates his lily white guts. And then it turns back into a Limp Bizkit song, bummer.

Why Try
Why indeed. The obligatory Tom Morello divebomb riff-rip. It feels like nothing. "Why try/You're gonna die/You're going straight to the gate in the sky" is an apt philosophy for these nihilistic shitdicks and they meet it oh, a quarter of the way.

Killer in You
"There's a motherfucking killer on the loose..." begins the band's first warm-water wave at horrorcore. It's incredible to think that Eminem came up in a musical moment with this guy. He's about eight times the trailer trash Durst tries to be. Come to think of it, this album didn't even suck in a spectacularly interesting way.

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