Better than: Praying for a 23rd (or predicting the 73,000th) installment of "Trapped in the Closet"
It's been three years to the day since R. Kelly was acquitted of 14 counts of soliciting, videotaping, and producing child pornography. It's an infamous case that clouded his career, yet the majority of Oracle Arena's 19,500-something seats were filled to see the hitmaker perform his (well, our) guilty pleasures on Friday night. We were close enough to see and feel him get emotional at times over this support, and a glance up at the big screen confirmed at least one watery eye moment from him.
"But you left me for another woman on the Double Up tour!" he mock-protested, then decided that "a man can't hold a grudge forever" and vowed to return to her and his fans via a show filled with excitement! Dancing! Fine outfits and fine music!
The screen went blank and an impressive amount of silver streamers dropped from the sky as Kelly and his band (also in tuxes) were introduced, James Brown-style. Four female dancers appeared holding signs that read "Applause!" and "Make Some Noise!" as the first notes of "Step in the Name of Love" began. Before that song ended, Kelly had sprinted offstage to make the first of several sharp suit changes -- and we understood that, obvious support notwithstanding, he was here to work.
Kelly's talent lies in writing and singing searingly memorable hooks and melodies, and he wisely knew that he only had to hit the crowd with little more than those moments from his big songs to keep people happy. It seemed like he must have offered about 200 such snippets, but it was probably closer to 30. He covered a lot of ground from early hits like "Your Body's Callin'," "Bump and Grind," and "Keep It on the Down Low," and later pop earworms like "Fiesta (Remix)," "In the Kitchen," and "I'm a Flirt," but never got more than merely suggestive.His set was styled to look like a little city strip of nightlife, including a Double Up Diner, a Motel 12, a generic Gentleman's Club, and a bar that came with its own bartender, who just amusingly kicked it there behind the counter the whole time. Different projections often veered into cheeky territory, like the pixelated silhouette of Kelly holding up one digit that appeared for current single "Number One Hit."
Only when a montage of his early videos started playing did we truly realize how much restraint Kelly was actually practicing. Though he did try to play a little striptease game with the ladies -- which resulted in a few oversize panties being thrown onstage -- he literally did not move from the waist down during the whole show. Yet the old videos showed him getting low to the ground in all manner of simulated sex positions.
Also conspicuously absent from his set were any of his "Trapped in the Closet" songs, plus modest superhero anthems like "I Believe I Can Fly" and "The World's Greatest." That doesn't mean humility prevailed: A projection of an over-the-top love letter declaring Kelly's musical genius and everlasting importance directed to his fans and supposedly written by his (long-deceased) mother took care of that. Kelly has dialed back a whole lot of flamboyance in his public presentation, but many flickers of flashiness still remain. To wit, his incredible concert conclusion: more streamers and confetti as he fired off a quick rendition of "My Way."
Ambrosius is a fierce live performer. She came on stage in a black-and-white top and small red shorts -- she's transformed her body with a 60-pound weight loss over the last few years, and looked gorgeous. Ambrosius has penned tunes for Jamie Foxx, Alicia Keys, and most notably Michael Jackson, for whom she wrote "Butterflies." He and Floetry each recorded their own versions. The arrangements are similar, as she demonstrated on Friday. She peppered her band-and-DJ-assisted set with snippets of Bay Area rap anthems like "I Got Five on It," "Tell Me When to Go," and "Blow the Whistle," and then took to the keyboard, where she offered sensual cuts from her solo album, Late Nights & Early Mornings, with a safety warning attached: "These songs require sexual protection, 'cause I'm not responsible!"
She also performed her wry revenge tune "Hope She Cheats on You," wherein she sassily wished that your new girlfriend runs off with a basketball player. On cheating men, she offered a classic pearl of hip-hop wisdom: "Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks!"
Keyshia Cole was visibly excited to be performing in her hometown -- "How many of y'all know I'm from here?" she asked. The reception led us to believe there wasn't a soul in the House of Soul who didn't. She looked over at our section and exclaimed, "Hey! I see some of the people I went to junior high with!" Later, she took a moment to offer motivational words to the crowd, saying that people can be whatever they want to be."I am very proud to be from Oakland, California," she said. "It taught me how to survive, how to make it in a world full of haters and snakes, and, most importantly, it prepared me to be a family with my husband and child." (She wed the father of her son, basketball player Daniel "Boobie" Gibson, in late May.)
As Cole unfolded her hits, sounding enlivened throughout, we marveled at just how many she's had since her 2003 debut. It was hard to believe that Cole had a baby just over a year ago. She squeezed into some silver and black pants that any new mother would be forgiven from running far away from, and she looked great. One minor gripe: Why did her female dancers sport the same black-halter-top-and-leggings duo that has been in seemingly every rap video since the late '80s, and why did the male dancers wear shirts that said "Boy" on them? We found them a bit distracting from Cole's talented tone; she needs no bells or whistles to entertain.
Critic's NotebookRandom detail: "Love Letter" panties were the highlight of the merchandise table, though Marsha Ambrosius' cute "Marshian" tote bags ran a close second.
By the way: Ambrosius' Late Nights & Early Mornings album is currently number 63 on the Billboard 200 albums chart; Kelly's Love Letter is number 103.
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