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Monday, May 16, 2011

Six Child Musicians It's Okay to Like. No, Really.

Posted By on Mon, May 16, 2011 at 8:45 AM


​Remember that guy in OutKast who isn't Andre 3000? Big

Boi is his name. Well, he's just announced some musical news that will

probably make you frown, curl up your top lip, and ask a bemused "But why?"

That's right! Try not to recoil at the fact that Big

Boi has started a record label (alongside his 16-year-old daughter),

exclusively for kids' music. It's called Purple Kidz, and its first signing is

a 12-year-old named Gabbie Rae.

But, before we judge and jump to conclusions, let's consider for a moment the

possibility that this might not be as bad as it sounds. Dude is in OutKast! Which is great! Maybe if he has a label for them, tweens will be more likely to get off

the American Idol/Bieber circuit

and onto something ... less crappy.

So, in honor of Purple Kidz, here's our list of six child

artists it's okay to like.

  • Kriss Kross
    If you can get past the fact that their clothes are

    on backward (we are aware that this is asking a lot), this song is totally

    awesome. In fact, we'd go so far as to say it beats out House Of Pain's "Jump

    Around" for Best Jumping-Related Anthem of All Time. Look at their angry little

    faces! Kids got swagger.

  • (Li'l) Michael Jackson
    The older he got, the more of an acquired taste he became. But

    back when Michael was just starting out -- before the plastic surgery

    disasters, (alleged) inappropriate activities with young boys, and bizarro God

    complex -- he was just a teeny-tiny ball of unfeasibly impressive talent, all

    wrapped up in horrifying clothes (in this clip he's wearing the sun around his

    neck and a cactus on his leg -- lovely!) and a sweet, sweet Afro. If you don't

    like this song, your heart is cold and dead. Fact.

  • Menudo
    The reason it's okay to like (old-school) Menudo is because it

    is hilarious. The vocals are weak, the outfits are deplorable, and the videos are

    consistently mind-blowingly awful. But the combination is

    absolutely can't breathe, rolling on the floor, laugh-your-ass-off hilarious. Just ignore all those later line-ups, including the one that formed

    in 2007. They're also terrible, but not funny in the least.

  • Willow Smith
    Willow Smith sounds almost exactly like Rihanna -- but she's

    only 10. Ten! Think of what this sassy, bedazzled superchild can do in future

    if she's this good now. Because "Whip My Hair" is -- sorry, this does need to

    be said -- one of the catchiest pop releases of last year. And before you all

    start in with arguments about how she's got an advantage because of her

    parents, just take a minute to consider how truly awful their music is. Both of

    them might be fine actors, but Will Smith's music is largely useless, and Jada

    Pinkett Smith's is nothing short of an abomination (if you're not already in

    the know, Google Wicked Wisdom and prepare to have your day ruined). So, if

    you think about it, Willow has actually

    overcome some obstacles! 

  • Musical Youth
    A song made by children that is still listened

    to almost exclusively by stoners. That's a feat, people. Especially when the

    song is actually about poverty. Extra points must go to Musical Youth for making

    the most British music video in the history of the world. Thanks, kids. This is


  • New Edition
    Because New Edition represents a time before Bobby Brown

    was ... well, Bobby Brown. If you know what we mean. Look how cute they are in their little leather bondage hats.


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