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Monday, May 9, 2011

Six Extremely Weird Cover Songs, Featuring Bill Shatner, Dolly Parton, and ... Pat Boone?

Posted By on Mon, May 9, 2011 at 8:46 AM

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3. Pat Boone doing Metallica's "Enter Sandman"
We warn you before you play this that it is one of the

single worst things your ears will ever be subjected to. Ever. Aside from the

fact that turning a Metallica song into a big band extravaganza is, frankly,

offensive, it's also -- in this case, at least -- absolutely bloody terrifying.

Seriously. Boone sounds so self-assured singing this, it takes on a whole new

level of eerie. It's the musical equivalent of being murdered by a grinning clown

in a sequined jumpsuit.



2. William Shatner doing Elton John's "Rocketman"
William Shatner is prone to doing the unexpected -- like duets

with Henry Rollins

and looking 55 at the age of 80, for example. But his cover of "Rocketman"

isn't just weird, it's did-someone-put-acid-in-my-drink? mind-bending. Most

shocking of all with this particular clip is that Shatner's abomination of a

version is introduced by Bernie Taupin! The man who wrote it! Like this is a

quality rendition! When it's clearly the blatherings of a man who has done

minimal rehearsals and would rather be picking mushrooms up on a hill

somewhere! Actually jaw-dropping. "I'm a rock. It. Man!" Yes, Bill. Yes, you

are.



1. Ben Folds doing Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't Shit"
It's quite remarkable how much cringing can be caused by

taking rap lyrics and presenting them in a different setting. This though, is

the absolute pinnacle. Look! It's a nerdy white guy at a piano, sweetly singing

graphic profanity after graphic, sexist, offensive profanity. And he does it

all with a straight face, thereby making the song both hilarious and

thought-provoking. And also, handily, showing it up for the pile of nonsensical, misogynistic wank that it

is. When the drummer chimes in with the lovely "Bitches can't hang with

the streets" refrain, it makes us want to jump into our computer screens and

high five every single lucky, lucky person in that little room. Sheer brilliance.

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