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Friday, April 22, 2011

Dear Dr. Dre, Please Stop Trying to Sell Us Things Other Than Detox

Posted By on Fri, Apr 22, 2011 at 4:19 PM

Coming soon to your dad's new car.
  • Coming soon to your dad's new car.

Is it greed? Does he need the money? Or does Dr. Dre really not know that the world would much rather receive Detox -- the album he's been promising us since 2004 -- than his endorsement of the speakers in luxurious new Chrysler sedans?

For those of you new to Dre's latest outrage, let's recap: Dude has a headphone/audio company named after him. (He was the first; other rappers have followed; it's all pretty dumb if you ask us.) Dude's protégé white rapper Slim Shady did a Super Bowl ad for ailing Detroit automonster Chrysler -- which was, it must be said, rather cool. So far we're okay, right? 

But then Eminem sent his doctor to Chrysler. The legendary SoCal producer/rapper's "Beats ny Dre" label will be all over the fancy audio systems in the company's cars, starting with the new Chrysler 300S. 

Meanwhile, Detox doesn't yet have a release date.

What is it with you, Dre? Why do you have to torture us like this, making deals with HP and Dr. Pepper (okay, that one was kinda funny), and now Chrysler? 

All we need is a new album! We don't care that you and Jimmy Iovine and however many psychoacoustical geniuses devised some ridiculous 10-speaker system that Iovine says "will set the bar for how music should be heard in cars." We ain't gonna buy it! And the people who do buy it will probably only use it to listen to Rod Stewart's Great American Songbook Vol. 37, or Susan Boyle. You think Boise bank managers and Inland Empire real estate agents and our parents are going to ride around thumping "Let Me Ride"?

Maybe you need Detox more than you think. We definitely need it more than you think.

[L.A. Times via Daily Swarm]

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