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Monday, April 4, 2011

Musicians On Reality Shows: Top 6 Gross Moments

Posted By on Mon, Apr 4, 2011 at 9:00 AM

Remember Toni Braxton? Well, the We tv network is hoping you still do, because it's about to launch Braxton Family Values on April 12 -- a reality show about Toni and her sisters. From what we've seen of it so far, it's dull as dishwater. Its arrival does, however, remind us of all the other things we've seen musicians do on reality television that we really could've done without. Here, then, are our top six favourite gross moments:

6. Brett Michaels makes out on Rock Of Love


We don't really care who it was with, but every time Bret Michaels' tongue went in someone else's mouth on his dating show, it was like listening to a bulldog making out with a mackerel. And the visuals! Oh, the visuals! Absolutely hideous. Strangely, Bret redeemed himself with a stint on 2010's Celebrity Apprentice -- which he won. But we're not sure that we'll ever get over all the skank-licking of Rock Of Love. It was just all so ... damp. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" isn't entirely ruined -- but it's close.

5. Gabe from Cobra Starship shows up on The Real World: Back To

New York


Back before Cobra Starship existed and Gabe Saporta was

still doing the rounds with his pop-punk band Midtown, an emo girl was invited

to live in the house for The Real World: Back To New York

in 2001. The lady in question, Rachel, was all excited because a boy she had a crush

on, whom she'd made out with previously, was coming back to town. She spent all

day nervously

anticipating his arrival, until it was revealed that the boy was Gabe from

Midtown, and that actually he wasn't calling her because what was a lovely,

romantic tryst to

her was merely just one more in a line of road girls to him. It was


depressing to watch. Gabe lost whatever little street cred he had by

appearing on the

show (albeit briefly), so he formed a silly electro band instead so all

the pop-punks would forget him and the silly hipsters with neon

wayfarers would embrace him. Job done, Gabe. Job done.

4. Meatloaf loses his mind over paint supplies on Celebrity


Here's a brief recap of what happened on Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice:
Meatloaf notes early on that "It's ugly when I get angry". Ten minutes later, and Meat

has lost his mind and is accusing Gary Busey (no, really) of stealing his paint supplies for

the team's art challenge (no, really, really).

bought those motherfuckin' sponges!" he exploded in one of the most

undignified outbursts ever aired on TV. "Part of that paint is

mine! Fuck you, motherfucker!"
"That was in my basket," Busey responded calmly.
"You do not wanna fuckin' start with me!" Meat continued,

entire body shaking with anger. "You'll be in the hospital in about four

The episode was resolved by -- of all people -- Mark McGrath, who truly proved once and for all how he

tolerates the insane contestants on Don't Forget The Lyrics!: patience and blind, blind faith.

bag of paint supplies was found shortly after his outburst and Busey

was forgiving -- saying that Meat was merely "dancing on

a rainbow with no fear and no doubt".
Glad that's cleared up then!

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Rae Alexandra


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