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Monday, March 21, 2011

The Top 5 Dave Grohl Smackdowns

Posted By on Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM

You may have seen Dave Grohl a few days ago giving Glee creator Ryan Murphy a good verbal kicking for acting like a prissy pants (no surprise there -- have you seen that show?) every time an artist refuses to let him use their music for the series. Grohl -- clearly the eternally sane voice in a world of ridiculousness -- called Murphy "a fucking jerk" and pointed out that "maybe not everyone loves Glee". Hallelujah, Foo Fighters man! And amen to that. So, in Dave's honor, we'd like to present his top five other finest smackdown moments -- because for a man frequently referred to as "the nicest man in rock" he sure does have a tendency to throw down a lot.

5. Back in 2007, Dave reportedly told the UK's The Sun newspaper that he had encountered Paris Hilton in a restaurant once and that she was "a total raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut" and "fucking lame." Woah. Don't hold back there now, Dave, we wouldn't want to miss the point you're trying to articulate. Given that Paris has just had one of her most decadent years ever (see yacht parties and several run-ins with the law), we may now take to calling him Soothsayer Grohl. So much wisdom...

4. Backing Tracks and the Bands That Use Them


Y'know? Somebody had to say it. Bands that look like they're playing everything live but actually aren't playing everything live are, plain and simple, cheating. And the Grohl don't like cheats. "I'd rather sound awful and have the chance to change things at a whim than sound like Linkin Park or Mötley Crüe because of today's technology. They feel naked when it comes to playing live." Honestly, over the years, Mötley Crüe have done way harder stuff than playing live (there's enough death, near-death and playing-with-death in The Dirt to keep the Grim Reaper busy for a year) so there really is no excuse. We're siding with Dave on this one. Again.

3. Shelley Duvall


We don't want to laugh at this, but it's kind of hard not to. Dave Grohl once said that if a movie were made about Nirvana, he should be played in it by Shelley Duvall (you know - Wendy from The Shining) because "that is my face - you cannot get any closer than that." Dude. It's funny and self-deprecating when you compare yourself to a woman, but think of poor Shelley Duvall! While he might make a perfectly handsome man, there isn't a woman alive who wants to be told she looks like Dave Grohl (especially if it's true).

2. Courtney Love


There's so much beef between Court 'n' Dave, they could open a chain of steakhouses. The rage usually comes from Courtney's end (she's previously asserted that Kurt Cobain hated Grohl and that Grohl has "been taking money from my child for years") while Dave once said "It's one of those things where you might bicker back and forth via lawyers and when you see each other you kind of just giggle." But according to Britain's The Guardian newspaper, he also called her an "ugly fucking bitch" onstage in 2002. Temper, temper, indeed.

1. Scissor Sisters

Justin Timberlake might the funniest man in pop thanks to his SNL appearances, but this was the moment that Dave Grohl cemented himself in our minds as the funniest man in rock. Of course, it's not really the Scissor Sisters Dave is blasting here - it's people who hate balls. And everyone knows that the only way to deal with ball-hating folk is to laugh at them mercilessly. Take it away, Grohly. Our love for this knows no bounds.

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