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Friday, February 11, 2011

Top 10 Break-Up Songs To Help Get Egypt's President Hosni Mubarak Out of Office

Posted By on Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 8:06 AM

In politics, as in love, there sometimes comes a need for one party in a relationship to say goodbye. Adios. See ya. Get the eff outta here, dude

And in politics, as in love, music can help get that difficult message across. We don't mean to make light of the situation over in Egypt -- lord knows a dried-up romantic alliance between two individuals is very, very different from an oppressive triple-decade Arab dictatorship. But when all kinds of relationships end, sometimes there's nothing better than a celebratory, angry break-up song or 10 to the get the wronged parties through the transition.

So Hosni, if you're reading this, don't take the break-up too hard -- we're sure you've got a hefty stash of silk tissues and scotch over at the Sharm el-Sheikh palace. Please, though, take it. Like a fed-up lover, the people of Egypt want you gone. Here are 10 songs that might help you understand intensity of their passion.

10. "1,000 Times Goodbye," Megadeth

It takes a pretty extreme situation for us to recommend Megadeth for anything, so Hosni, listen up. Dave Mustaine makes the point here repeatedly, and boy, does he know what it's like to get broken up with: "The times have changed and pulled us apart." "Nothing left but wasted days." "I'm prepared to leave but I'll never take you back." Like the female voice in this song, the people of Egypt have found a new lover -- call it freedom, democracy, or Twitter -- and, Hosni, they never want to see your ass again.

9. "Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)," Travis Tritt

Face it, Hosni, you're a lot like the dumb blonde in this video who just won't get a clue. You've used up all your good will, and the people don't give a damn how you feel. But you just keep coming around, trying to pretend like the last 30 years haven't happened. Sure, you don't really need a quarter -- you've got a cellphone and a personal fortune of billions of dollars -- but Travis' sentiment holds true nonetheless: Try making speeches to a populace that cares, 'cause, uh, the people of Egypt are over you.

8. "Bye Bye Bye," N*Sync

Yeah, dude, Egyptians really do feel like they're living on puppet strings that your strongman regime controls. And yes, Hosni, that's a bad feeling. We think Timberlake puts it best: "Now I've really come to see/ That life would be much better when you're gone." But unlike even the controlling chick in this video, Hosni, you don't seem to be able to cut your citizens loose.

7. "Hit the Road Jack," Ray Charles

Pretty much the American anthem of see-ya-later-ness, in his song Ray Charles actually paraphrases your speech from yesterday. See around 1:42 -- does this sound familiar, Hosni: "You must be joking. What you trying to do to me? Why can't we talk it over? I thought we had a better understanding. Oh baby [people of Egypt], don't be so chilly. You don't want to see me cry. Oh baby, please -- it isn't fair." 

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Ian S. Port


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