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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Economy Still Sucks? Take a Stay-cation.

Posted By on Wed, Jan 13, 2010 at 4:27 PM

After little research and an informal study amongst our friends, we're pretty sure that the economy still sucks. The problem is that all this economic stress makes one all the more likely to need/want a vacation. Fortunately for us, we've discovered a more wallet friendly vacation trend, the "Stay-cation." A "Stay-cation" is a pretend vacation, i.e. you take off work, but don't go anywhere exciting.... In fact, you don't go anywhere at all.

The basics of the Stay-cation are well documented: ride a rollercoaster, visit a museum, see some theater, dine at a fancy restaurant. Let's face it, you know how cool your hometown is, so enjoy it. Shut off the work email, take time off Facebook, Digg, and Twitter and go play in your own backyard. However we'd like to help you take your Stay-cation to the next level -- Thus we present our guide to the ultimate Stay-cation.

How to take a Stay-cation:

Pack The first step is simple, pack. You will be living out of your suitcase for the week - or weekend at the very least. It is important to pack slightly inappropriately for the weather. No umbrellas, nothing too warm, and forget something vital such as your contacts. Switch to AT&T Cellular service for the week so that you can enjoy terrible reception every time you make a phone call just like on a real vacation.

Travel For this you are going to take a Xanax or drink seven Gin and Tonics. Sleep in a chair sitting up. Put another chair about a foot in front of you so as not to give yourself too much legroom. Every hour you or your traveling companion should either cry like a baby or shake your chair a little to simulate turbulence. Halfway through the drunken "flight" try and talk your travel partner into having sex in the bathroom. Tell them to go first, you wait five minutes and casually join them. Good, now you're both officially members of the "20 Feet Above Sea Level" Club.



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Irene McGee


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