Get SF Weekly Newsletters
Pin It

Willie's Birthday Plans 

Wednesday, Mar 11 2009

Matier and Ross recently reported that former Mayor Willie Brown will celebrate his 75th birthday with a Paris blowout. How else will the city's bon vivant septuagenarian celebrate his birthday?

•Rig his 75th election

•Mention himself in the Chronicle

•Decide once and for all whether to will his fortune to his wife or mistress

•Get all excited about someone recognizing him

•Buy a new hat made from of the skin of his enemies

•Finally admit Gavin Newsom was a terrible mistake

•Bribe a respected public figure, just to prove he's still got it

•Call Jack Davis and remind him to bring the Jack Daniel's and the S&M performers to the party

•Blow out the candles and wish for a soul

•Not bother to see the doctor if his erection lasts longer than four hours

About The Authors

Will Harper


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"