Frankly, among the nepotistic families of some rock stars -- for whom, notwithstanding adolescent taste in poster art, good looks have never exactly been a forte -- further physical novelty need not apply. (Never mind rock star taste or character, neither of which hold up well under thumbtacks.)
Fortunately, the public-figure children of public-figure parents seem to be turning out somewhat comelier than their sires. But to what influence do we owe this anomalous phenomenon? Given the general lack of desirable physical traits among pop musicians, how do they attract their mates? (Don't hastily interject fame, or money; doing so would relegate groupies to a trifling, easily dismissed status.) The couplings smack of deliberation and intervention -- the motive being, perhaps, to render subsequent generations of pop and movie stars more charismatic, more irresistible to consumers.
What we may have here, as suggested by the affixed photo montage, is an entertainment industry breeding program.
Both the foibles and potential profits of such a conjectural program are discussed in the pellucid Principles of Breeding: A Treatise on Thremmatology; or, The Principles and Practices Involved in the Economic Improvement of Domesticated Animals and Plants, by E. Davenport, M.Agr., LL.D.
"As fashion decrees the cut of our clothes," writes Davenport, "so it also decrees the length of the tail of a cow or the shape of her horn, and the height at which a horse should raise his feet from the ground. If fashion would be reasonable, and consistent, and stable, it would not be so bad, for breeders could finally adjust themselves to its demands; but it is not stable, and often it is neither reasonable nor consistent. ... But the mandates of fashion are to be reckoned with, erratic and troublesome though they may be, for in a very large measure they determine sales and fix prices" (emphasis in the original; Page 658).
A pop breeder would always run the risk that one generation's hot property (e.g., Liv Tyler, Fig. 13B) would become another's pseudo-celebrity (Nancy Sinatra, Fig. 12B). Apparently, the potential initial gains outweigh the risk of curtailed spin. The mere attachment of Liv Tyler's name to a project kites contemporary profits like an updraft does a bird of prey. Would this ever have been the case if she looked more like her father (Fig. 13A)?
Multiple beautified whelps are not unheard of in these unions (The Melody Makers, Fig. 8B), even from the same litter (Nelson, Fig. 16). Alliances between second-generation broods are also not unheard of. Nancy Boy (Fig. 17) boasts two eugenized pop progeny -- a Nesmith and a Leitch. Hearty pop star/groupie crossbreeds need not remain in their parents' industry; crossovers into thespian stock are frequent (Liv Tyler, Fig. 13B), though met with varying degrees of success (Ami Dolenz, Fig. 20B).
Among certain eugenized public offspring, the effect of heterozygous breeding is subtle. Note the nearly nonexistent morphological changes between Josh and Charlie Haden (Fig. 5A, Fig. 5B), and John and Julian Lennon (Fig. 7A, Fig. 7B).
Among some beautified stock, the parents' specific talents may be lost (China Kantner, Fig. 6B), or eternally nascent (Dweezil Zappa, Fig. 15B). But there is more at stake in pop breeding than simple sex appeal, given the anemic constitutions and self-destructive behavior of many rock stars and other musicians. According to Genetics for Dog Breeders, by Frederick B. Hutt, mingling their genotype with that of the more mundane, yet handsomer and healthier, populace may result in a general strengthening.
"It is hybrid vigor, now commonly referred to by geneticists as heterosis," writes Hutt. "It is the somewhat intangible vim, vigor, and vitality that lets good hybrid White Leghorns lay about 25 eggs more per year than their non-hybrid parental strains" (Page 211).
In other words, not only could Jagger lips be avoided altogether, but tomorrow's Brian Joneses could conceivably tolerate twice the dosage of barbiturates before going face down in a swimming pool.
And if eugenics is truly occurring among the ranks of rockers and other pop musicians, why object? We have nothing to lose but sore eyes. If royal families had refreshed their thinning bloodlines in the gene pool of the commoners more often, they'd still be holding power, and the rest of us would still be pulling yokes and lancing buboes.
Phyllis Orrick and Susan Rasky are on vacation this week. But they can be reached at SF Weekly, Attn: Unspun, 425 Brannan, San Francisco, CA 94107; phone: (415) 536-8139; e-mail: porrick@sfweekly.com.
