The morning BART commute from West Oakland into the Mission is filled with young professionals trying not to topple onto their fellow riders as they balance coffee and Twitter updates while the train barrels through the belly of the bay. Earlier this month, I was one of them. I, however, was also wearing a bejeweled metal butt plug as part of my morning routine.
I was off to film my very first gangbang at Kink.com, the notorious BDSM porn studio inside the old San Francisco Armory.
A typical day at the office is always less than typical for me, but wearing a butt plug on BART and spending the afternoon fucking five dudes was definitely a first.
The site I was shooting for, Hardcore Gang Bangs, features rough sex, bondage, gagging blowjobs, and, most importantly, double penetration, which I was particularly nervous about.
Though I had told the talent office that both double-vaginal and double-anal penetration were OK, I had never done them before and was dubious of my capabilities — which is why I got a head start during my commute.
The content of the site is hardcore, as the name implies, but the focus is actually on fulfilling the gangbang fantasy of the featured model. The scenes are usually directed by women, and the female models are given ample opportunity for input, from the casting of male talent to plot points and sex acts. The site recently shot a Peter Pan-themed gangbang in which model Juliette March played a helpless Wendy being used and consensually abused by porn star lost boys (Rufio included).
When I was booked in late January, I was sent an email asking me a series of questions, including, "Anything you love? Anything you hate? Any fantasies or storylines you would like to explore in this shoot?"
I knew right away.
Baseball.
Ever since the Giants took the 2010 World Series, I have fantasized about taking an entire team of quirkily handsome orange-and-black-clad baseball players in the dugout after a game.
The director, Maitresse Madeline of DivineBitches.com, who was recently named fem-dom actress of the year, was more than excited to bring my fantasy to life. We were slated to shoot the clothes-on opening content at an actual baseball field, and the production had even cast professional-baseball-player-turned-porn-star Karlo Karrera.
I knew I was in for a big day.
I had fantasized about gangbangs for as long as I can remember, and though my personal sex life includes a high level of fantasy fulfillment and my social life includes porn stars and professional perverts, I had yet to live out this particular dream, mostly because organizing a gangbang is a logistical nightmare. Getting all the STI testing, scheduling, and communication clear between five people I'd like to fuck is next to impossible. But Kink.com has an entire team of people working on all of those aspects; another team working on wardrobe and makeup; and another team working on the set, lighting, and logistics, making sure everyone is well hydrated, lubricated, and lit.
Before the sex scene began, Madeline took me aside and told me to not feel as though I had to be too submissive, even though I would be in bondage. This was my fantasy; they were just players in it. I took her advice to heart.
"Play ball!," I shouted as the team carried me into the makeshift locker room in the basement of the Armory and the scene began.
Double penetration sounded intimidating until I felt like I had permission to reframe it as a sneaky forced-bi scene. There's no room for latent homophobia with five guys and one girl — dicks are going to touch, and everyone just has to be OK with it. The knowledge that two macho baseball dudes were sword-fighting to get inside me was what got me through the distance when the time came for the DP.
Honestly, I really didn't think anal double penetration was going to be an option. But you know what? I didn't think the Giants would take the World Series three times in five years, or that Tim Lincecum would pitch two no-hitters less than a year apart — baseball is about fucking miracles.
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