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The Snatch: The Week the City Peed on Itself 

Wednesday, May 21 2014

Some Kind of Champion

Sunday's Bay to Breakers footrace brought out the usual miscreants — drunks, public urinators, and of course drug users. And then there was the drunken partially naked guy who was busted taunting the city's bison. According to Officer Albie Esparza, an unidentified man hopped over the bison paddock at Golden Gate Park and began "taunting them." No word on what kind of teasing took place, but from what we're reading on Twitter, the ungulates were not feeling threatened. SFPD's Richmond Station tweeted out the following: "Officers just arrested a naked man in the bison paddock in GG Park. The bison seemed unimpressed." It is a tremendous accomplishment to be a standout jackass in a competition with so many thousands of other drunk, urinating competitors. So kudos to you, Bison Guy! You ran the four-minute mile of acting like a fool.

Fashion Plate

Jessica Urbina's stylish yearbook senior portrait may have been jettisoned from the yearbook at Sacred Heart Cathedral Preparatory School — but now it's plastered throughout the blogosphere, making her the school's new, unwitting poster child. Sacred Heart administrators targeted Urbina for wearing a tux and bow tie, which apparently violates the school's dress code. Female students are expected to wear dresses for their yearbook photos. Incensed by what they saw as top-down discrimination, Urbina's friends, classmates, and brother Michael launched a protest, arriving to school last week in bowties and publicizing the incident over Twitter. It quickly created a media firestorm. Within hours, the school was censured by everyone from alumni to Live 105 DJs to local cab drivers. In a statement, Sacred Heart expressed regret over the incident, and said it would "work tirelessly to ensure that all students are included in the future." Though a spokeswoman declined to elaborate, many observers believe the school caved under pressure, and decided to change its dress code. In the meantime, the #JessicasTux hashtag is snowballing on Twitter.

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Staff, SF Weekly


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