Cartoons on demand and "Touch & Swipe" baby smartphones have turned children into namby-pamby wimps (what are kids going to swipe right on, anyway?). Introduce the crotchfruit of today to the harrowing children's entertainment of yesterday with Jim Henson and Frank Oz's 1982 film The Dark Crystal. Muppet overlord Henson and Oz, the voice and living embodiment of Star Wars' Yoda, weave a scary fairytale around a noble Gelfling puppet who must save his world from the evil Skeksis puppets, which resemble buzzards with eczema. In 1982, Roger Ebert sagely predicted that, "Any kid younger than 10 is probably going to lose some sleep after seeing the horrendous creatures in this movie," and now the Balboa Theatre is inflicting the puppet-based pain on a new generation.
The nightmares begin (with popcorn and a small drink included!) at 10 a.m. at the Balboa Theatre, 3630 Balboa St., S.F. $10; cinemasf.com/balboa.
415-221-2184
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