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Rant: Teens Respect Neither Horse Movies Nor Their Patrons 

Wednesday, Dec 21 2011

Ranter: Teenaged boy and his three friends

Location: Century Centre movie theater

Time: Just after a Wednesday night preview screening of War Horse

Topics Covered: The cinematography of Janusz Kaminski; the relative values of human and equine life; movie-theater decorum; the practical benefits of headphones

[Throughout the movie, which is both overwrought and pretty great, a group of bored teenagers in the back row of the theater rustled, sighed, and burst into occasional, raucous laughter. At the film's climax, as much of the audience sniffed back tears, one boy shouted "It's just a horse! Fuck!" Afterward, the teens gathered in the lobby.]

Noisiest Teen: That sky at the end, all orange and shit. What the fuck was that? Skies don't look like that! That's the end of the world or something. If you look up, and it looks like that, that's not the time to hug your horse!

Boy with Earbuds: I'd be riding the horse and getting the fuck out of there.

Noisiest Teen: And there's a war going on, all these thousands dying, and everyone's crying about this one horse! What the fuck?

Eye-Rolling Girl: It's retarded.

[As they laugh, a woman apparently in her 50s approaches. Her eyes are puffy. She stares at the teens, who quiet down and stare back at her.]

Puffy-Eyed Woman: You all are very rude.

[The teens stare; she stares back. The noisiest teen comes close to speaking, but he doesn't. A breath passes and then another. The puffy-eyed woman shakes a little.]

Puffy-Eyed Woman: You don't have toruin it for everybody.

[With that, she turns away and heads to the escalators. For another second or more the teens look after her. Then they laugh, wildly, and quote her back to each other. As they finally exit the lobby, the eye-rolling girl yanks at the wires of the boy with earbuds.]

Eye-Rolling Girl: I can't believe you had these on the whole time.

Boy with Earbuds: It's better than listening to all of your shit.

[They laugh all the way down theescalator.]

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