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Rant: Take Good Care of My Truck, Stranger 

Wednesday, Feb 1 2012

Ranters: Truck-owning guy; a possibly homeless man

Location: Bay Street, between Kearny and Stockton

Time: 3 p.m. on a Tuesday

[Truck-owning guy and a red-headed woman walking west on Bay Street start to jog as they approach their street-parked truck.]

Guy: Goddamn it! That better not be — [He snatches at a piece of paper under a windshield wiper. He reads it, confused.]

Woman: What is it? [Guy hands it to her as he looks up and down the street. Then he addresses the neighborhood.]

Guy: What the fuck? You make me think it's a ticket, and then it's this whatever-this-is? [Another man, possibly homeless, stands. He has been sitting beneath a tree.]

Possibly Homeless Man: It's not like that.

Guy: Did you write this?

PHM: Yes, sir, I did.

Guy: Stay back!

PHM: I thought you might like to know —

Guy: To know what? [He passes the note to the woman.] Can you read this?

Woman: "This something my truck."

PHM: This used to be my truck. [Guy opens the passenger door, and the woman gets in.]

PHM: I know it's yours now. I'm just saying it used to be mine, once. And it's a good truck, too [Guy waves his hands in disgust and circles around to the driver's side.] She'll take care of you. You check the fluids, don't run her too hard, and she'll be good. Highway miles, she loves those. [Now in the driver's seat, the guy starts the engine.] You keep her nice and clean. You got to take care of a truck like that.

Guy: I'm not giving you any money.

PHM: I just thought you might like to know. I would want to know a thing like that! [The truck is idling. PHM stands on the sidewalk at the passenger's window. Guy watches traffic for a chance to merge.]

Woman: We agree. She's an excellent truck. Thank you for taking care of her. [Guy rolls up the windows and pulls into traffic. PHM picks the note up from the sidewalk and stuffs it in his pocket.]

About The Author

Alan Scherstuhl


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