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San Francisco has its share of mysteries. Who trained those Muni bus drivers to time the lurches for the instant you're between steps, and most likely to be thrown, teeth-first, into a metal railing? Why does a small, discolored artichoke cost more here, 90 minutes from the artichoke-growing center of the universe, than a normal one would in Eritrea? What was Sony thinking when it hired a blind man to design the exterior of the Metreon? And, of course, how does the Bay Guardian manage to be irritating and boring, simultaneously?

Because we publish in the same general format, we have at times speculated on the Guardian's ability to inspire the sneer that becomes a yawn. Perhaps, we felt, it had something to do with a penchant for publishing old, old news, presented in the form of an enormous investigative coup. Or maybe it was nude beaches, or 50 great bars you've already been to, or all the other pandering ephemera that regularly grace the Guardian cover, in place of journalism. But one of our readers, using the pseudonym P. Nutt Gallery, recently brought to our attention another factor entirely: sheer repetition.

Mr. Nutt sent us the news story below, published on Feb. 2 and supposedly dealing with the future of so-called progressive politics in San Francisco; it contains 16 references to the "Bay Guardian" or "us." Immediately, we thought to assign a team of reporters to the task of determining whether this story set a record of some kind for self-referential pomposity. But then we tossed the story aside, feeling, somehow, trapped halfway between minor irritation and -- yawn -- boredom.

Make your boss squirm and seethe! Fax his most annoying, dictatorial, and idiotic memorandums to Randomemo: 777-1839. Or mail to Randomemo, c/o SF Weekly, 185 Berry, Suite 3800, San Francisco, CA 94107.

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