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Our critics weigh in on local theater 

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. The moldering schoolhouse tradition of spelling bees has inspired a cultural deluge of late, from Myla Goldberg's 2001 novel Bee Season to the forthcoming feature film Akeelah and the Bee. That the bee has buzzed its way onto the Broadway stage is further proof of the craze. William Finn and Rachel Sheinkin's musical comedy about a group of teenage misfits pitting their linguistic wits against each other won two Tonys and broke several box office records during its Broadway run. Tandem productions are playing in San Francisco and Chicago, with a touring show scheduled for the fall. Within the first 15 minutes of Putnam County's competition — set in a school gym complete with ropes, a basketball hoop, and stadium-style seating — we pretty much know everything we need to know about the contestants: They're freaks. Spelling Bee does have its faults. Most of the songs are about as memorable as the spelling (and meaning) of "macrencephalous"; attempts to inject a whiff of topicality — like a reference to Dick Cheney's shooting incident — feel forced; and many of the laughs come cheap. Yet in riotously sending up the spelling bee phenomenon in a variety of ways (including inviting four audience members onstage to be contestants at every performance), Spelling Bee makes an important point: Despite the high stakes, it's just a game. In an open-ended run at the Post Street Theatre, 450 Post (at Powell), S.F. Tickets are $40-66; call 771-6900 or visit (Chloe Veltman) Reviewed March 29.

Hijra. It's Bombay wedding season, and Nils' mother wants him to marry a beautiful girl, but he's already fallen in love with a pretty boy. Nils plans to take his new love back to New York as his blushing bride with the help of the Hijras — transvestites with magical powers, questionable monologues, and "sacred mutilated genitalia." Hijra is good-natured fun, and NCTC gives us an affable production; the sound, lighting, and luminous costumes all do a lot with a little, and the actors seem to be enjoying themselves. However, Ash Kotak's first full-length play feels slight, like a Bollywood musical with no musical numbers. The filmic episodic structure makes for awkward transitions, especially during the rushed second act, in which the effort to wrap up loose ends creates unearned moments of revelation and resolution. Characters are forced to examine their deep-seated prejudices in novel ways, yet the playwright doesn't quite enable the audience to have the same experience. Kotak touches on issues of classism and homophobia with humor and honesty, but doesn't make any real emotional or intellectual commitment to exploring these topics with any depth. What we're left with is an amiable, curry-flavored, gay-themed soap opera. Through May 21 at New Conservatory Theater Center, 25 Van Ness (at Market), S.F. Tickets are $20-40, call 861-8972 or visit (Frank Wortham) Reviewed April 19.

How We First Met. Past performances of How We First Met — in which the love life of a couple from the audience is used as a source for improvised songs and sketches — have involved a pair who met online in a Dungeons and Dragons-style chat room and a man who proposed to his girlfriend in the middle of a show. Not every pair invited up to the Purple Onion's diminutive stage will have as thrilling a story to tell, but that shouldn't matter. The production's cast of improvisers reacts quickly to the information they learn about the guests' romance. Creating snappy, relatively tuneful songs and funny skits out of such banalities as Marie Callender's chicken pot pie and the family cat, the performers prove that it is indeed possible to create comic theater out of life's pathetic details. Yet despite the warm atmosphere and all-round goodwill, the performance is hit-and-miss. Inspired moments come and go, and the overuse of the same few ideas becomes predictable. Jill Bourque (who conceived the show in 2001 as a one-off Valentine's Day special) maintains a crisp rhythm by interweaving questions to the guest couple with improvised material and more rehearsed sections involving costumed characters such as an Italian waiter and a beatnik poet. But despite her attentive direction, the costumed sections feel stagey. Still, judging by the demographic variety in the audience, How We First Met speaks to a wide population. Plus, it's quite fun. Through June 30 at the Purple Onion, 140 Columbus (at Jackson), S.F. Tickets are $25; call 348-6280 or visit (Chloe Veltman) Reviewed April 19.

Menopause the Musical. Set in Bloomingdale's department store, this play unites four contrasting female characters — an Iowa housewife, an executive, a soap star, and a hippie — through the combined forces of cut-price lingerie and hormone replacement therapy. Singing doctored versions of 1960s and '70s pop favorites like "Stayin' Alive" ("Stayin' Awake") and "Puff, the Magic Dragon" ("Puff, My God I'm Draggin'"), the ladies potter from floor to floor, sharing their worst menopausal hang-ups as they try on clothes, rifle through sales racks, and run in and out of the store's many strategically placed powder rooms. Although Menopause is entertaining and energetically performed, it's unabashedly tacky. An ode to the delights of masturbation, sung down a pink microphone to an adaptation of the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations," for instance, makes one think that all that's missing from this (very) belated bachelorette party is a male stripper. And as much as the show makes its largely 40-plus female audience feel more comfortable about getting older, it doesn't go far enough. Menopause is euphemistically referred to as "the change," which just seems to reinforce taboos. And its obsession with shopping, sex, and cellulite makes Menopause feel a lot like a geriatric issue of Cosmo. Rather than empowering women, the musical ends up underscoring clichés. In an open-ended run at Theatre 39, Pier 39, Beach & Embarcadero, S.F. Tickets are $46.50; call 433-3939 or visit (Chloe Veltman) Reviewed Jan. 11. Sex, Lies and Instant Messaging! "I'm barfing out the story — unabridged!" That's how actor and writer Leslie Beam explains it in her one-woman show This self-declared "queen of cyberland" takes us on a 66-minute journey through a small sampling of more than 300 badly matched Internet dates after the breakup of her 13-year marriage (he was obsessed with football and bong rips; she was consumed with computer-sex chat rooms). Beam gets props for hanging out her dirty laundry: Onstage she brandishes her favorite sex toys (including a 3-foot-long Black & Decker vibrator), shows us dungeon floggings, makes fun of gimp-armed lovers, complains about fat people, and confesses to multiple dates with a convict tattooed with the words "white pride." Any sympathy she generates sours when she lightheartedly reveals her prejudice, recounting her ghastly treatment of an innocent date solely because he was black. She doesn't delve into her discrimination or give it any particular reason or depth; she simply tries for a laugh. Later she turns down another black cybersuitor, responding that she hasn't yet "exhausted the entire pool of eligible white men." In trying to illuminate the human and humorous side of Internet dating, Beam delivers a one-dimensional portrayal of herself and caricatures of her dates, seeming intent on proving that the Web is filled with a disproportionate number of weirdos and psychos. May 5 through July 1 at the Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission (at Fifth St.), S.F. Tickets are $15-20; call 820-1454 or visit (Nathaniel Eaton) Reviewed March 1.

Slava's Snowshow. Russian-born Slava Polunin loves his theater "full of longing and loneliness, losses, and disillusionment," so it makes strange sense that he has (deservedly) become a world-famous clown, is president of the Academy of Fools, and is the creator and heart of the sensational Slava's Snowshow. Sure, the show features some big shoe-in-the-face high jinks, especially during intermission, but it isn't focused on how many horn-honking clowns can fit into a little car; it's more about being steered through emotional extremes. Polunin is primarily interested in creating dream vignettes of wonderment, curiosity, and heartbreak, as when his small boat gets hit by an oil tanker or two lovers speak gibberish to each other on huge foam telephones. There's no dialogue or plot, only miraculous and sometimes abstract moments — such as a figure walking inside a glowing balloon — that allow the audience to superimpose its own meaning, while smoke machines work in overdrive and music from the far corners of the globe underscores the vision. The finale, which Polunin also performed in Cirque du Soleil's Alegra, is true heart-pounding astonishment. When the smoke clears and the gigantic balloons crash down, look for the old clown sitting unobtrusively in the audience like a quiet child, eyes aglow, watching the oblivious grown-ups gleefully bomb each other with snow confetti. Through May 7 at the Golden Gate Theatre, 1 Taylor (at Market), S.F. Tickets are $37-75; call 512-7770 or visit (Nathaniel Eaton) Reviewed April 19.

Also Playing

Theater & Opera

Breeze at Dawn El Teatro de la Esperanza, 2940 16th St. (at South Van Ness), 338-1341.

Circus Showcase 2006 Project Artaud Theater, 450 Florida (at 17th St.), 626-4370.

The Devil on All Sides Traveling Jewish Theatre, 470 Florida (at Mariposa), 285-8282.

Don Q Noh Space, 2840 Mariposa (at Florida), 621-7978.

Edge Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason (at Geary), Suite 601, 989-0023.

Farewell to the Tooth Fairy Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission (at Fifth St.), 896-6477.

Imagination Unleashed Blue Bear Performance Hall, Fort Mason, Bldg. D, Marina & Buchanan, 885-5678.

In Bed With Fairy Butch for Women, Transfolks, & Their Pals 12 Galaxies, 2565 Mission (at 22nd St.), 970-9777.

Island of Animals The Thick House, 1695 18th St. (at Arkansas), 587-4465.

Mack and Mabel Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson (at Front), 788-7469.

Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me Curran Theatre, 445 Geary (between Taylor and Mason), 551-2000.

Money & Run: Go Straight, No Chaser La Val's Subterranean Theater, 1834 Euclid (at Hearst), Berkeley, 510-234-6046.

My Girl Lorraine Hansberry Theatre, 620 Sutter (at Mason), 474-8800.

Oyster Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Theater, 700 Howard (at Third St.), 978-2787.

Pippin Diego Rivera Theater/CCSF, 50 Phelan (at Judson), 239-3100.

Schonberg Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St. (at South Van Ness), 861-5079.

Small Tragedy Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison (at Shattuck), Berkeley, 510-843-4822.

Talking With Angels The Actors Center of San Francisco, 3012 16th St. (at Mission), 389-8975.

Where My Girls At? Searching for Sistahood in the Bay Jon Sims Center for the Arts, 1519 Mission (at 11th St.), 554-0402.

Winnie the Pooh Fort Mason, Bldg. C, Marina & Buchanan.


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