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Not Melissa Gilbert 

Wednesday, Jul 7 2010
Every small town has an intolerable bitch, and in Walnut Grove, Minn., in the 1870s, that bitch was Nellie Oleson, as played by Alison Arngrim. She was unique among intolerable bitches in that she was just a girl, but she terrorized the town as well as any hat-wearing matron in a uncivilized hellhole surrounded by turnip eaters. Oh, she was mean. She once put a spider in Almanzo's milk. After six years scorching the prairie with her caustic one-liners, deceptively bouncy ringlets, and uncommonly fancy dresses, Arngrim hightailed it to New York. And there's been talk around the moonshine slop bucket that she got her comeuppance in the end, and now travels the flophouse circuit (not exactly) as a joke-telling whore (not really) in a show called Confessions of a Prairie Bitch (that may be right). The French loved her, when she was in France; further proof that she's now sordid and indecent. You'll love it.
July 9-10, 10:15 p.m., 2010

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Michael Leaverton


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